{pondering}

I bought a cute little brown ceramic chicken with a large paperclip attached to it from Creative Kitchen the other day. I am certain it is likely intended to be a recipe holder while cooking - but, I have brought it to my desk and on cards I have been writing scriptures to change them out. I saw this scripture on Becca's blog the other day and it kept coming back to me over and over. So, it now resides on my desk, with others waiting in the wings to take it's place; however, I haven't wanted to change it out yet.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is TRUE, whatever is NOBLE, whatever is RIGHT, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is ADMIRABLE - if anything is EXCELLENT or PRAISEWORTHY - think about such things." Phil 4:8

No futher commentary needed. HE said it all.

{peeping tom}

I was on my way through my bedroom when I heard a little gruffy morning voice start off.... "Elmer". I had to see it, so I crouched behind the door and spied it through the crack between the door and the door frame. A little underwear clad, morning-hair body stood with his hands behind his back as he addressed Elmer the Elf. I got a little dizzy when I heard him request NINE transformers. Visions of $$ flased through my head. He spoke to him for about a minute re: each of the transformers he would like. It was too cute for words. Another freeze frame.

{big day}

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! We had a house full of family and friends which is always a good thing. Lots of food, but very few leftovers - amazingly. The day was very relaxed, the kids played from morning until night, we remembered those who were not with us this year and prayed for health and protection of those who were. A very good day.

And, our elf arrived at our front door last night. I will definitely post more on that later. So cute! Noah has fallen for him completely and is actually looking for his new hiding place as I type this. Evan.....not so sure. Actually, very skeptical. Although, I say that and I heard them both talking to him at different times last night. Adding to their list of course! Evan is also having a very difficult time not touching him to see if he is "deal". They also followed the storyline and named him......Elmer. So, our family now has Elmer the Elf.

Now, I am frantically trying to get so much wrapped up in order to visit my aunt and family in Oklahoma City. I was already suppose to be on the road and I'm not even close. :(

{quick sneak}

very, very quick! oh, i'm terrible at this blog fast!

but, i wanted to remember this. Evan has been quite the grump this morning. no, that's not what i want to remember........but, this.....this is what i heard "mommie, i don't like these yellow ones. i like what i like." i have no idea what he is referring to?? "evan, what are you talking about?" "dese, eggs, i do not liked the mixed up ones (aka scrambled), but the roasted ones (aka boiled, anyone ever had a roasted egg? yuck!) mommmmmmiieeeeeee, i dust like what i like and dat's it! "

i hope that if anything ever happens to me....that someone out there will be able to understand his evanese. he'll be in a heap of trouble if not. and, likely starve to death!

{fallen off the wagon. already.}

okay, so i am breaking my fast - but, just a quick break. i had to get a plug in! today i ran by creative kitchen to pick up a couple of the elf of the shelf sets as christmas gifts. she's pretty certain that i got the last two; but, she is ordering more. if you want one you may want to call ahead and have her put your name on it. they are that cute guys!

oh.my.goodness! i had never been in there before! i love it! i bought several little items, mostly for christmas...a few for me. ;) for christmas, so that makes it okay, right? i got scott some "onion goggles". seriously. he cannot be around onions AT ALL when they are being chopped or it will pretty much guarantee a migraine. problem solved! i'm not sure if they are really for him or for my benefit, it's a toss up! then, i got someone (no name mentioned) a "butter bowl" it is a cute little red ceramic dish that you add a stick of REAL butter and a measurement of water. the water seals it shut and you can leave it safely out of the fridge as it is tightly sealed. soft butter at a moments notice. may sound strange, but the recipient will love it. because, she loves butter. let's see....i also got THE CUTEST recipe holder for someone that has been looking for THE CUTEST recipe holder. did i say it was very cute? hmmmmm.......they also have all of these neat cooking gadgets - measuring utensils, whisks, scrapers, etc for older people or those who have difficulty with using their hands/arm (ie. my mom from the fracture last year). she cannot stir things well, cannot open things at all....will be perfect! they also have the cute little "chalkboard" signs. that was what i got for me.....i can write the boys notes, happy whatever, i love you's - it will be fun. and, disposible cups for get togethers that have "labels" to write your name to avoid a mix-up with an uncle with a cold. thoughtful things too. ;)

and, if either of you know the owners Jaime or Jennifer........super sweet and fun! and, they did not even ask me to write this. just some really cute finds in a complete range of prices all at one stop. i love that! just wanted to share.

{media fast}

i'm going cold turkey from virtually all forms of media (ding ding: INTERNET with the exception of being work related) in an attempt to be more focused over the next week. i have so much on my plate right now (completely self-induced) that i need to make every moment count. so, i plan on not even venturing to my favorite blogs, which will likely kill me. but, wanted to wish all of you a very, very Happy Thanksgiving! will be back as soon as i can!

{prayer request}

last night i phoned one of "my moms" to let her know that her pictures would be posted in a few hours. i have truly fallen in love with this family - they are amazingly beautiful both inside and out. it's almost too much for me to even take in on the other side of my lens.

i knew she didn't sound herself and before hanging up, i asked if everything was well with them. at the moment she was enroute back home after being in an auto accident over the weekend in tulsa. she was on the phone with her husband when it happened. she has numerous staples in her head, face/eye area and is very sore. i am praying for a speedy, uneventful recovery for her. i know it has scared her family so much. it was difficult for me to even look at the pictures of just two weeks ago last night. another reminder of how quickly things can change. i am just so thankful it was no worse than it was. it was a fun filled weekend that ended on a very different note. also, the other people involved were also transported to the hospital, their conditions unknown right now. please keep all of them in your prayers.

{devotional for girlfriends}

This was my devotional this morning...I need not say a further word as it stands alone .

November 24, 2008 What Now? Sharon Jaynes (Crosswalk)

Today's Truth "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 NIV)

Friend to Friend Have you ever had a shattered dream? If so, you're not alone.
If ever there was a group of people who lost their dream, it was Jesus' disciples and the women who ministered to and with them. They had such high expectations that Jesus would be the next political leader of Israel (Luke 24:20). They had witnessed his power in feeding 5,000 men plus women and children with two loaves and five fishes; they felt the waves beneath their tiny boat subside at his command; they had watched him breathe life into a lifeless child, open the eyes of a man blind from birth, create new skin from rotting flesh on the limbs of lepers, and command a lame man to take up his pallet and walk. They had seen him walk on water, outwit the Pharisees, and win the lost.

In their narrow scope of hopes for a political leader to save the Jews, they missed the bigger picture of God's plan for a Savior to free mankind from the bondage of sin. While Peter realized Jesus' identity ("You are the Christ."), he did not understand His destiny. Peter was shocked when Jesus explained that He had to go to Jerusalem, suffer, be killed, and on the third day rise from the dead. He even took Jesus aside and said, "Never, Lord. This shall never happen to you!" (Mark 8:33). This was not part of Peter's dream. Suffering did not fit into his plan.
"Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."

Call me stupid, but don't call me Satan. Yet, that is how Jesus sees it when we try to block God's plans. He sees us as an instrument of darkness, an offense, a hindrance and a snare. It is amazing that one minute Peter could be a building block and the next a stumbling block but that's the trap we all fall into when we have our minds set on the world instead of on the things of God.

Jesus told His disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life, will lose it, but whoever lose his life for me will find it." (Matthew 16:24)

Even though Jesus forewarned the disciples of his death and resurrection, they fled when the soldiers came to arrest him, and they hid when he was hung on a cross to die. When Jesus was sealed in the tomb, their hopes and dreams were sealed in the darkness with him.

Every day, I receive emails from women who have had their dreams shattered. A husband has an affair, becomes addicted to pornography, abuses the children, or deserts the family. A child gets caught with drugs, gets pregnant or dies in a car accident. Parents divorce, friends betray, careers come to an abrupt halt. The list is endless. So what do we do when our dreams are seemingly destroyed? The answer to that question will shape the rest of our lives. (how true that is!)

Does that mean we give up our dreams? I can promise you this, whatever dreams you have for your life, God's dreams are greater. The power of the Holy Spirit the disciples received after Jesus' resurrection, and the impact they made on the world thereafter, was beyond their wildest dreams. That's what God does with a heart wholly yielded to Him. That's what He does when we give our shattered dreams to Him. I have learned to stop saying "Why me?" but instead start saying "What now?"

Let's Pray Dear Lord, there are things about my life that I don't understand, but I do know this. You are good and You are kind. I thank You that nothing happens in my life that is a surprise to You. You have a greater plan than my small vision can imagine. I pray that You will reveal that larger plan for my life to me. Help me to pay attention to Your promptings and obey Your bidding.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

Now It's Your Turn Think back over your life and list two or three dreams that did not turn out like you thought they would.
Is there a prayer request or dream in your life that, in retrospect, you are glad God did respond to affirmatively?
Write down any areas of your life where you have said, "Why me?" and are now willing to say,"What now?"
Place yourself in the disciples' sandals for just a moment. How do you think you would have felt the night Jesus died on the cross?
How do you think you would have felt the day you saw Him walk into the room ... resurrected from the dead?
How would that experience have affected the way you viewed trials in your life from that time forward?
Now, how should that affect the way you see trials today?

More from the Girlfriends Shattered dreams are a part of life. But God has big plans for each of us. Can you risk the hope that God still has dreams for your life? That He hasn't forgotten you. Place your hand firmly in His-take a deep breath and begin the exciting journey to a place you thought you'd never find: the dream God planned for you all along. You'll find all this and more in Sharon's book, Dreams of a Woman-God's Plan for Fulfilling Your Dreams.

{stolen idea}

i wanted to share what my friend mischelle blogged about re: a new family tradition.....christmas camping! i love that! you can link onto the details at The Coston Clan

mischelle, i'm definitely going to have to borrow that one! love it! feel free to comment on what christmas traditions your family incorporates!

{unemployment}

we are definitely firing our tooth fairy! you know, she's not been up on her duties from the very first lost tooth...what was that? she had to fly to the ATM at 9 pm? on several occasions she failed to put $ under the pillow, but, redeemed herself within her 24-hour grace period. remember the near-broken toe incident? well, i do! well......noah lost another tooth a couple weeks ago. she earned her keep on that tooth. left a $5 bill under HIS pillow (this time) and the tooth was gone. or, so we thought. about four days ago....noah came running to me as guess what he found on the floor? imagine that? he was very concerned because he could not decide if she dropped it out of her pouch (didn't know tooth fairies had pouches, but obviously, there is alot i do not know) or if she intended to leave it for me as he knows it makes me sad when he loses them. hmmmm......i was so dumbfounded (aka caught) i failed to come up with a quick answer, thus a phone call to dr. aunt angie, because they are very, very good friends.

so, the jury is still out on that one. obviously when she stuck it in another pillow case for retrieval.......she forgot. nice. and, how in the world am i suppose to keep up with santa?

{thank you}

kind stranger who helped me fix the broken link. :) I appreciate it!

{misquoted}

sorry, in the entry below....noah did not say complicated but instead he said "challenging". It is quite the challenge to be good enough to avoid a chunk of coal.

{complicated matters}

the boys and i were having our sunday morning snuggle which consists of lots of hugs, snuggles, kisses, sweet nothings and progresses to knees, elbows, and bumped heads. so, you have to get it all in before the later occurs. we were discussing christmas (again) when noah informed me that this being good stuff "is very complicated. there is just too much pressure! every single bad thing i do gets written down?" (a very good lead into the real christmas story)

i think the poor child is convinced he is getting a lump of coal this year. ;)

{happy}

i am burning my first christmas scented candle....hot spiced cider by colonial candle. ahhh...just to walk into an area that smells like that makes me feel good. That brand has come to be my very favorite....although i especially love their fall scent indian summer and pretty much burn it...... year round. and, i "adorned" the candle with some pretty ribbon and a brooch. fun.

i am very conflicted right now. i have friends who have decorated for christmas and it's killing me. not that i even could right now with all of the workload, but, i am a little green-eyed. but, i still have my fall stuff up and am making myself stick with it until thanksgiving. it's tough!

what a great thing to be conflicted about! if everything could be as difficult as that! ;)

addendum: cannot get angela's link to work?

{my head is still spinning}

i had one of those days yesterday. you can link up to my best friend's new blog PolkadotsandKisses as i can't bear to relive it again. let's just say it led to three trips to Fort Smith in a short span of time. leave it to me.


but, she also mentioned our "find for the day"....... remember this little guy i posted about last year... i got the picture from the internet...... does not do it justice

i had intended to order him long before now, but, he was one of the first things i ran into at holiday market. he is better than expected!!! the story is so sweet and what a fun family tradition. the abbreviated version is that he arrive to your house (thanksgiving night) you read the sweet little book to the family, name him and he will reside with your family throughout the day, he flies back to the northpole at night while the children are sleeping and reports the "good and bad" to santa. the fun thing is, he "lands" in a different spot every morning, so the children will have to get up and find him. they cannot touch him because if so....the his magic will be gone. just great great fun for the kids! and, i'm thinking mom and dad too! i'm so excited i can hardly stand it.

they are actually here locally at creative kitchen in fort smith. they are priced lower or as well as they are online, but, without shipping.

{paging dr. nick}

well, you actually barely avoided the page. seriously, who would have thought bunnies would bring along such fretting and near-medical emergencies? yesterday, i noticed that "a" bunny was pulling out hair - it looked like rhetta's (formerly known as rhett). who would have thought that a bunny can be pregnant again within HOURS of giving birth. well, due to the fact we didn't know he was a she and she had just had a litter of bunnies - why would we think she may have been pregnant again before we discovered all of the above?

so.......we brought her into the garage last night. she wasn't thrilled, but obliged us. then, this afternoon, i noticed.....no bunny pellets. not a good sign due to the ongoing fear of gi stasis - especially in an angora. so, tonight i performed gentle abdominal massage. extremely gentle just in case she is pregnant. but, remember, we're not good at determing that. obviously since we made sam (formerly known as scarlet) nest in an air-conditioned garage this summer because we just knew "he" was pregnant. nada. well, needless to say after the massage therapy, increased alfalfa hay and water - we had success! at one point, scott and i looked at each other and could not contain the laughter. we are nuts! absolutely nuts! who spends a night in the garage coaxing their bunny to well.......poop. there i said it. but, i'm the mom of two boys, i can say things like that.

it doesn't stop there. because of the frigid weather tonight, we brought all the bunnies in. and, well, we decided to do a little inspecting and we're pretty sure that jack is likely jack-ie. seriously, what in the world?

all i know is that we are about to keep dr. nick very busy with either spading and/or neutering.

{legacy}

i had a sweet conversation with a dear friend today. the conversation was emotional and very heavy at times. we discussed the book "thirty days to live" that our pastor has been discussing of late. truly - what would i do with my life if i knew i only had thirty days left. THIRTY days. what would YOU do? it would put alot of things in perspective very quickly. the big things would seem minute. the simple things would seem profound. i have a strong suspicion it would be those simple things i would immensely crave. it is amazing how our perspective with life and the circumstances we find ourselves in makes such a huge impact in our happiness......and peace.

and, preceding today's conversation, i've been thinking alot about what legacy i am leaving behind; particularly for my children. it can be overwhelming at times. this song so gets to me........

"legacy" by nicole nordeman

i don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
and i enjoy an accolade like the rest
you could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
at such n' such......it wouldn't matter much

i won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
we all need an "atta boy or atta girl"
but in the end i'd like to hang my hat on more besides
the temporary trappings of this world

i want to leave a legacy, how will they remember me?
did i choose to love? did i point to You enough to make a mark on things?
i want to leave an offering
a child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically
and leave that kind of legacy

i don't have to look to for or too long awhile
to make a lengthly list of all that i enjoy
it's an accumulating trinket and treasure pile
where moth and rust, theives and such will soon enough destroy

not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
just want to hear instead "well done" good and faithful one....


Truly, what else matters in this life? our relationship with christ, wrapping ourselves into our family and dear friends. i want my children to know beyond a doubt their mother's heart. they are what i will leave behind.

{merry christmas to me}

I was up super early this morning editing before my real work day began. And, I stumbled across an amazing picture I took of the boys this summer. Somehow, I had completely missed it? I was so thrilled I almost cried! I love everything about it and yes, it is with my dad's truck. I know of I have a few of those, but, I'm not sure I could ever have too many; it is THE ONLY tangible thing I have of his. Can't wait for you girls to see it, but am not going to post it as it may be my Christams Card image. I so love it!!! You'll have to come over to see it! (Anything to drag out company...lol!)

And, even better I just signed on with a framing company - so I will actually have a different frame than the ones I have exhausted from HL! It really doesn't take much. I am just trying to push the envelope on the decorating rules of having too many family pictures. Not in this house! Apparently in that department we are far, far away from following the rules.

{my heart just exploded again}

this is what i just heard from the living room in a very loud, strained voice "do you know how much i dove you?????" i smiled. "how much do you love me". "thissssssss much" as he proceeded to show me his DS that displayed rows and rows of hearts. "dat's it. dat's how much and dat's a whole wat!"

explode. sigh.

{refusal}

i refuse to acknowledge that all this sniffling and sneezing going on in our house is anything more than sniffling and sneezing. period. i think my youngest has figured out that "mama doesn't do respiratory" very well, despite the nursing degree. i barely forced myself through that rotation. but, evan has had quite a bout with sneezing this evening. after the last event, he did not even come to me, but instead ran to the restroom, called out for noah to open the door, because........."i dot sneeze on my hands." how sad is that?

i've never heard it put quite like that. but, at least i'm just thankful & proud of his good handwashing skills!!

{a belated happy birthday to aunt j}

although a week late, you were in my thoughts!!!! We hope you had a very, very happy birthday!!!! We miss you and are still hoping to see you soon!

{bye, bye baby}

I'm excited for them, but I'm so, so, sooooo sad for me!! I am updating the boys room to "bigger boy" rooms. Evan's room, bedding included, has not changed since he arrived and Noah's was last changed when he was one, almost two. How does the time fly??

With the exception of banning any cartoon characters - they got to choose a "theme" and I had no input in that matter. I chose the bedding/colors and all is well in their little world. They are both very excited! Nothing fancy, just new, clean, un-stained bedding that so says.."little boy." Noah's wall color will work. I think I will quickly paint Evan's peanut shell. Noah chose football (imagine that?) although it was a toss up for antique cars and trucks. But, he is reallllllllly into recess football games with the boys. Evan chose baseball, because the little guy is getting geared up for his first year of tee ball. He thinks he's a pro already. He asked to practice today. Maybe Noah should read this entry. How did all of this happen so quickly? Okay, I digress.

My friend J posted a link to her SIL's blog Sweet Pea and Pumpkin for wall paintings. Noah is getting the football and Evan the baseball. Very, very cute. Again, the room will be far from fancy, but, very boyish, warm and fun. Let's see how long Evan's stays clean. wink, wink :)

{my sweet pea}

Turned one!!! Unbelievable!

And, Daddy T - just leave it to Aunt Shannon and I'll make certain you get your money's worth out of her princess costume! ;)

{true love}

I have been underground lately due to massive amounts of work, sickness for the little guy and I, a husband who has not felt well at all and just the typical busyness we all experience. I actually made myself take some quiet time this morning or it would have been another day lapsing without.

I pulled from my favorite devotional source (crosswalk.com) and backtracked trying to catch up a bit. I tend to be a crammer like that.

These are some excerpts from what I read, through my tears.....

I often wished I could travel back 16 years ago (15 for me) and give my "young bride self" some advice. But, since that's not possible, I love sharing what I've learned with others.

Recently, I had dinner with a 28 year-old friend who would love to one day be married. During our time together the conversation flowed freely about all sorts of things. Blogs. Writings. Leaving your comfort zone because God says so. Biscuits. You know, girl stuff. And then we moved to the subject of relatonships and marriage........

To expect another person to make you feel happy, secure and fulfilled will leave you disappointed at best and disillusioned at worse. Even a great husband makes a very poor God. (I LOVE that)

Before the white dress, delicate bouquets, unity candle, bacon wrapped shrimp, and reception punch, there is some heart stuff to consider:

Getting married doesn't make you selfless.....it makes you realize how selfish you can be at times. (I can completely cover that one!)
Getting married doesn't make you feel loved...it makes you realize love is more of a decision you make than a feeling you feel. (how true is that?)
Getting married doesn't take away loneliness...it makes you realize true companionship comes not when you demand it but rather when you give it to another person. (wow)

So what does marriage give?
A beautiful chance to make the choice to...
Laugh whether the jokes or not the jokes are funny.
Love folding his collar over this tie every morning.
Pretend like you don't need flowers, but delight when he buys them anyway.
Cheer him on through both failures and successes.
Tell him he's a great man everyday.
Thank God for the privilege of being his wife.

It's alot to think about. Early on in the devotional I had two black eyes because so much of it directly hit me. So much of marriage, or any relationship for that fact, is intentional. Given, at times, our life seems completely turned upside down and in many ways it simply is. But, you know, as hard as some moments can be, as frustrated as I can become.....on the day I said "I do" God knew what was in our future. He knew about the day that would likely forever change our lives. I will be the very first to admit, I do not react the best I can to so much of it. But, I clearly need to be more intentional about that. I am the only one who can make "my" choices.

So, go tell him how great he is!! Even if he just told a horrible joke. ;)

{happies}

Noah's intense affection. Evan's random "I wuv you, mommy" several times throughout the day. There are not many things that even come close.

{early Christmas present}

Look what I received today from Bev at Village Monograms!!! So cute, I love them!
I had actually ordered a couple of these, one as a gift and one for me.....a retro, whimsical snowman tea towel....

And, then sweet Beverly sent me one as a gift!!!!

Be certain and check out her Etsy site above. She has very cute things, very well-made and so reasonably priced!! Additional contact information is: gifts@villagemonograms.com

Go check it out girls!!! You won't be disappointed!

{my new BFF}

along the lines of Mischelle's post a month or so ago. Mine is not spot remover, but, germ killer.....aka....Lysol. Can you imagine that one of could possibly be sick again?? Surely not! Well, poor little E now has the lovely tummy bug. I hear that two varieties seem to be swarming, I am just hoping that we have the lesser of the two evils.

{check}

One thing down!!!! The website for The Northpole Secretary is now up and running. Very easy to use! I cannot wait, the boys will be beside themselves. You know, for whatever reason...{noah thinks it must be something under our house that disrupts the sleigh somehow} Santa tends to fall off of our roof every year. Well....this will just add to it! I chose Sample 7 for Evan and Sample 8 "Eat Your Veggies" for Noah. The best part........it includes the real reason for the season!!

And, another plus.....it helps support a family with adoption expenses. :)

{shannon, who?}

Total loss of identity. Today as I walked out of the school, I heard in a very, very loud voice/yell "NOAH's mom!!!!" And, of course, I flipped around without even a thought. It was one of the sweet women who opens the doors for the children in the car rider line. Today, our little car pooler had left his backpack in my backseat and apparently realized it when he started down the sidewalk. I had no space to pull over, so I drove over to the next lot and walked it in. No big deal at all, but, she was apologetic that she didn't catch me in time.

What she doesn't know is that I teared up as I walked to my car. How truly, truly blessed I am to be his mom. My heart almost burst. Or, maybe it did a little.

{authority}

E stumbling out of the bathroom with a blue face thanks to Crest. (Aunt Angie would be proud!)

"Mommy, do I have to obey you or God?"

Explaination ensued. Response: "otay" as he walked away.

He is so easy right now. Well, at that second he was.

{flashback}

shhhhhhh....... look what the boys will be getting in their stockings. takes me waaaaaaaayyyyyyyy back! Can't wait!!! I've wanted them to have one for so long. :)

{my christmas list}

or rather a to-do list I actually WANT to do.... how cute is that? A Christmas Card holder and then......coasters made from 4x4 tiles. Credit for both goes to.... The Graves' House

I love these.....

And, there is so much more!!!! Sherry's "artwork" (that I want to copy), painted platters (did you know you can bake them in the oven??), more painted Christmas ornaments with Angela, and trust me........the list goes on and on and on. Truly, I'll be lucky to get the tree up!!! :)

{bestill my heart}

Evan: yelling from the LR - "my heart has topped beating."
Me: whaaaaaaaat????
Evan: "my heart has topped beating!!!!!"
Me: how do you know that?
Evan: {are you ready?} "I tan't hear it".
Me: do you feel okay with it not beating?
Evan: in very new and very weak voice "no, not dery dood at tall".
Me: is it beating again?
Evan: "no"
Me: what are we going to do?
Evan: "I don't know"
Me: are you feeling okay now?
Evan: "no"
Me: "I think I hear it beating" (I'm in my office, he is in the LR)
Evan: How?
Me: "I'm a nurse remember, I am very confident it is beating."
Evan: otay. He was fine.

The End.

{yummy}

It's my favorite time of the year. Forget that I will say that again around March. And, the reason I am singing the praises of this time of the year........simple: Coffee Mate (the liquid variety) in Peppermint Mocha. Enough said. And, yes I am drinking a cup in a whimsy little Santa mug as I type this. Long, long night ahead. But, I'm loving the company!!

{lemondade}

although I hate it when the boys are sick, it does bring some nice things along - lots of cuddling and the grounding of mommy. In between the tears, and kleenex, and general "i don't feel derry goods" - it has meant that for the first time in a very, very long time...I have been able to stay home all day long. No where to go. I am up to my eyeballs in editing and firm work - but, I've had downtime with the boys (particulary Evan) to take care of him. So, the good can definitely accompany the bad.

{making a list, checking it 14 times}

I am dying laughing. Noah is in the kitchen writing a collaberation letter to Santa. Every few words, he yells out for spelling assistance. Evan is dictating. His thoughts of toys on his list are coming at a blinding speed. No way for Noah to keep up with this dictation rate. It is a very stressful event for Noah, Evan is just joyful about his never-ending list, and I am just laughing. Such a mean mama!

{happies}

the first fire in our fireplace!!!!! Okay, I'll be honest, it's a little smoky right now.....but, it will get better. What's a few open windows in November?

and, let's hope it's not 86 degrees tomorrow. :)

{share: i LOVE this}

here is a share for the day.....i love this idea!!!!

Santa Letters

Can you imagine getting this when you were 4 or 7? And, the best part is that it includes the "real story." Her dedicated website is not yet up, but she does go ahead and post her email link.

Hmmm......will definitely have to get in on this one. And, it helps support a family with adoption expenses. A double sweet!

{vows}

First of all, little E is still sick. :( So, the fact I had a wedding out of town yesterday just compounded my guilt by not being able to stay home with him. But, he was in the good hands (and arms, I understand) of his Mimi Mouse. Let's just say....lots and lots of snuggling.

Before I forgot, I wanted to remind myself of something that was said during the ceremony yesterday. To set the stage, it was a massively bittersweet day. The groom's father had passed away unexpectedly one month ago. You can imagine. When the groom lit a candle in his father's honor - I lost it as did every other person in the church. Every moment was hard to be fully happy, because it was so obvious that such a strong part of this family was missing. A true role model of marriage to this new couple. The ceremony itself took on more of a personal note than any I have ever attended before. At one point, the minister was discussing "life" and all of the ups and downs, tragedies, losses, happiness, mountains, etc, etc, they will face as a couple. Then he made one simple but, profound statement....

"There will be many moments when it will not be the vows you keep, but the vows that keep you."

Isn't that so true? I LOVE that.

{my little man is sick}

He was fine yesterday, so he went to school. An advanced apology in case he has spread his wealth. But, when he woke up this morning - there was no dispute. He sounds very croupy and has a "very, very,very" sore throat - in his words. He's just sad. So, I am trying to breathe and not panic at my mound of things to do and just focus on him today as much as I possibly can. I have a scary feeling, this is just the beginning of a downward spiral.

{add}

Can you tell, i've had a bit too much computer time of late. What is this....my 26th post for today. I can barely stomach to look at another medical record and my eyes are crossing with editing. I can't tell if the photos are blurry, or if I'm blurry. Not a good thing. Let's see (pardon the pun), I need to add that to the list that already includes an eye appointment for Noah that I'm late on, a 4-year-old well check up on Evan....hmmm.....wasn't he four in August? Yep, late on that too. What's another one to add in. Let's not even approach Scott's md list.

okay, i'm drifting again.....but, i thought i would post my reading list. another reflection of my self-diagnosis of ad(h)d. i'm pretty much reading them at the same time....well, not at exactly the same time, but, in spurts and slivers, here and there and basically everywhere.

The Shack. (just started)
Sacred Influence.
The Love Dare.
Grace Based Parenting.
Creative Correction.
In an Instant.
My Bible.

Okay, that is my list. I read those in flashes usually while waiting for something or someone...in line, MD appt, in car, etc, etc, etc. Spurts only.

Here is what I'm reading with Noah and/or both boys...in addition to our nightly reading assignments from school. It is not as bad as it looks. Who am I kidding?

The Tale of Despereaux. Okay, I have two copies. The one I've been reading from that has pages that looked tattered and torn. I love that it looks old. And, me and my absent mind ordered and received another one in a different format from the Book Fair. Well, I suppose they each have a copy now. Or, maybe I'll keep the tattered and torn one for myself.
The Wonder Clock.
A Wrinkle in Time. We suspended that one. Too much for this age.
The Invention of Hugo Cabret (it won the Caldecott Award this year)
Different devotions and too many Scholastic Books to mention.

Alot can be accomplished when your PSP has to be sent to Mr. Sony for repair. Hmmm..... would getting lost in the mail be a bad thing?

{happies}

taking ten minutes away from work to sit in the floor of my office to teach a little boy how to play a game of tic-tac-toe that no one else was interested in playing. so, i cheated a little (to his advantage, of course) and we played back to back games. over and over and over. he never quite got it; but he thoroughly enjoyed it. at least beating his mommy. but, i got it in ways he didn't even realize. ahhhhhhh..........

{i.am.thankful}

for so many things. alot has happened in the last few weeks to give me a new perspective.....it's that time of year to reflect.

1. i am thankful for my family. a family that forever i didn't think i would have; at least according to all of the statistics.
2. i am thankful for scott. although life has been quite difficult the last few years, again, we've beat the odds at what the physicians told us would happen to "us". another testament, that there is someone alot bigger than the medical world.
3. my precious boys. they are my heart. i truly could not ask for more.
4. my sweet, precious friends; both old and new. i know i've mentioned it before, but it's so true. (didn't mean to rhyme) i'm not sure i could have made it through so much without each of you. (oops, i did it again! that sounds terrible!!) but, seriously, each of you have given me so much in ways you have no idea. i'm very, very thankful.
5. my brother. he has been my rock. thank you for my sweet B.
6. my 'sister', angela. there simply are no words. you KNOW me; the good, the bad, the ugly... and you still love me.
7. "de cousins" and you know who you are. even though we do not get to see each often nearly enough.....i think about you constantly and miss you even more.
8. my dad. i'm thankful i had you as long as i did. on certain, random days, i miss you so much it hurts. "your truck" is hanging on several walls. :) who would have thought?
9. my sweet, sweet, precious grandpa. how did i get so lucky? you took a big piece of my heart with you. i miss you everyday.
10. my grandmother, for opening her home to me.
11. the home we have built for the boys. nothing extravagant by any stretch, but a place they feel save and loved. and, alot of room outside to run! :)
12. for a job, that as stressful as it may be at times, allows me to take care of my family from home.
13. for my church family. it's amazing how arms have been opened.
14. no kidney obstructions, tumor growth, the health of my family and friends.....

and, it goes without saying WHO i am thankful to for all of the above and so much more. YOU have given me so much.


Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

{bloggers}

does anyone out there know how to change the font color in the title? i love this background, but can't stand that i can't see the titles......anyone?

{happies}

when i scoop up evan in the mornings and he still fits perfectly in my arms. i can then look across the room and remember when noah did, although i don't let that stop me from scooping him up either. another moment i freeze into my heart.

{blurb books}

I found it; although I am certain there are many out there. IF I ever get any extra time (yeah, right? who am I kidding)...I plan on ordering a Blurb Book of my blog. They do not look as cute on the website (just google) ...but, I've seen one in blog land and they are really, really cute. Hmmm......to my aunt to whom this blog was started for......that may be the perfect gift from the boys. Now, just to find that time.....I think it may be just around the corner. (If I pretend there is no looming trial in January.) It's on My List.

{reality check}

I often let myself get so caught up with so many things that are so far from being important. At the moment, they seem to be huge, but in reality they are clearly not. I worry, I fret, I get angry over things that just do not matter. Absolutely do not matter. Aspects of those things do, but, other intertwined aspects do not. For those things, I just need to remember to pray and let go. And, let go quickly.

And, without disclosing any details, it is when I get an email from a mother of a little boy (both of whom I have fallen in love with) that he has another health fight ahead of him. It caught me off guard this time. And, he's always such a little trooper. We could all learn so much from him. It is a moment like that in which I come back to my senses. I see what truly matters in this life. And, how I need to be responsive to the things that matter, not the things that take away.

So, B and family - you are my heros. Each one of you, because I know how a health crisis affects every family member. B - you are my SUPERhero. I am very blessed to know you, each of you.

{election 2008}

Go vote! I'm on my way out the door to do so.....