{torn}

does anyone else struggle with putting up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving? Ugh, what to do?

To be honest, I just finished my fall. Terrible I know. Maybe just the tree?

What do you guys do?

{about to cry!}

I am absolutely devastated as I am terrified Scott has the flu. Against all odds, I am praying so hard for something else, something very short-lived. It broke my heart to have to make a call to postpone a newborn session I had for tomorrow. I really do want to cry about that alone as it has been the highlight of my week and was soooo looking forward to it.

It should not be surprising me though.

Today, I got a funny message from a friend/client. I guess she was a client, but is now a friend? Anyway, met her through the photography. But, she was concerned because she had called me last week and I had referred the call to Angela - well, something happened and she never heard from either of us. She tends to get VERY paranoid. So, today, in her VERY bubbly voice, she wanted to know what she had done to make me mad, she was "fretting" she said, and she was actually hoping she had made me mad because she was not even going to think something "bad" had happened. Because you know me, I never have those dark clouds looming! ;)

I immediately phoned her back and filled her in on the events of the last two weeks with Noah. Near the end of the conversation she sweetly said, "shannon, I just don't understand all this stuff. I mean, we had the flu- but it was over in like three days. You know, you remind me of that guy in the Bible, you know the one that all those bad things kept happening to.........gee, what was his name? John the Baptist?"

My reply, well, yes a very bad thing did happen to him, he had his head cut off and served on platter, but, I don't think he's the one your talking about.

She goes on......."oh, yeah it's not him, it's that other guy....what is his name? Peter???!! That's it, Peter!"

My reply, "well, I don't think he's the one either, but, he was crucified with his head down.

She was so exsaperated at this point, I'm not sure she even heard me say Job.

I will THANKFULLY never compare myself to any of them. Rough days, yes. Being a marytr, being murdered and having to suffer beyond words. No comparison, thank God.

At the time it was pretty funny. That was until I knew I had to make the call to the sweet mama I had so looked forward to seeing tomorrow. And, now I'm just sitting here in a stupor trying to even grasp that we may possibly not be past the flu at this point.

{politics for a five-year-old}

i was having my 5-minute lunch break today (of pecan pie?) and Evan graciously turned CNN on for me. He knew my break would be very short-lived.

A reporter began dicussing President Obama's meeting with bankers in China today. Evan gasped. "Oh, that is GREAT!" What is great? "Obama is in China!" Why is that great?

"Because he's in China. He can't president here."

{heart-sick}

after the last two weeks we've had, this story made my stomach drop and my heart break.......

A 10-year-old Benton girl who tested positive for swine flu has died. Gracie Nail was a 4th grader at Ringgold elementary school. Her mom is teacher there. Her dad is the Benton high basketball coach.

A pre-existing medical condition may have contributed to the little girl's death.

"It's difficult to even know how to support someone who is going through something of this nature," Superintendent Tony Protho said. But Prothro and the rest of the Benton public school family is doing all they can to comfort coach Chris Nail and his family after the loss of his ten year old daughter Olivia "Gracie" Nail. She died Wednesday night at Children's Hospital

"Miss Nail presented to their emergency room on the 20th with other circumstances other medical circumstances that were involved. She subsequently after admittance tested positive for H1N1," Coroner Garland County said.

“It is important to understand this tragedy there had been a pre-existing conditions where the child has been in critical care on numerous occasions," Prothro said.

A very serious condition Prothro says also caused the death of Gracie's younger sister years ago. Right now the coroner can't be sure if swine flu ultimately caused Gracie's death until the autopsy is complete. But pre-condition or not the swine flu can be deadly.

So parents should watch for these symptoms:

A fever over 100
Body aches
Headache
Upper respiratory problems
Vomiting and diarrhea.

If your child experiences these symptoms consult your doctor.

The Benton school district is being vigilant as well. "We're taking every precaution we possibly can here at the school," Prothro said.

Like the Little Rock school district, Benton has a flu clinic scheduled where they plan to give seasonal flu vaccine and the swine vaccine to students with parent’s permission. That flu clinic is set for October 27th and 28th.

To help the Nail family out with financial expenses friends and family have set up a memorial fund. To donate go to any Arvest Bank and tell them you want to donate to the Olivia Gracie-Ann Nail memorial fund.

Please uplift this family in prayer.....this is the second child they have lost in recent years. My mind cannot even grasp that sort of heartache....

{conversations at the dinner table}

my mini-goal for the current period of time is family dinner. regardless. well, that's if all four of us can sit upright at a table due to the recent bout of the flu. but, we have accomplished it for the last two nights.

i pulled out our family dinner conversation game. i would recommend this to anyone, we have so much fun doing this together. you can go to www.theboxgirls.com

here are a few highlights and outtakes from tonight....

Noah: "what is the best job in the world and why? what job would you never want."
He went with scientist of course for the first with a list of cures and inventions, etc. when asked about the later - "i would NEVER EVER work for an attorney. and, IF i were an attorney...i'd have to fire myself!"

Evan: "what is your biggest fear" his answer: noah

When Scott was asked what historic person he would like to meet, before he could answer, Evan screamed "mommy!!!"

I'm pretty sure at that point I took his food away. ;)

{brain mush}

please excuse all of the typo's over the last few days. my brain is truly mush. just changed another their to there????????

{one more thought}

just avoid this one if you are sick to death of my til death do us part posts. i am a little fixated as i have so many dear friends who are going through the pits of marriage despair. in typing this....in no way am i sitting in judgement, just broken heartedness. we've all been in the pits. to be honest, i've clawed my way out of a few and know without a doubt that there will be days i will slide down the walls of that pit into the stinky, slimy, pool at the bottom. but, i am hopeful, that i will just start climbing and digging my way up again.

so, if i seem a little fixated, i am actually heavily burdened...and ready to find the oxygen tank for so many so they can hold on a bit longer. then, there are the friends who have gone through the exit sign - only to voice their regrets. and, i have had dear friends who has had their hearts shattered by betrayal and although they went through the exit door - it was far from what they wanted. my.heart.hurts.

this is a recent devotional i read in my Proverbs 31 Ministry book..i did chuckle, but, that chuckle was the realization of how "real" it is...... And, it amazingly goes very well with the sermon i summarized from bro. ronnie a few weeks back.....

"i don't love my husband anymore"

by lysa terkeurst

"marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure." hebrews 13:4

i was saddened by what my friend was sharing. She was tired of her husband and because she had found the man of she dreamed of being with, she was leaving her spouse. i was shocked by her decision.

i had been in their wedding and heard the lifetime of promises made from their hearts. i had been with them to celebrate their first anniversary. i had been with them just after the births of their first and second child. i had shared their laughter, encouraged them through their tears, and enjoyed doing life with them.

while their relationship had not been perfect, they did love one another. but something was broken in their relationship, and neither of them knew how to fix it. this brokenness led to a stale quietness that seeped into their home and made each feel lonelier and more isolated. she had grown frustrated. life was busy and finances were stressful, and they stopped making time for the romantic conversations they used to enjoy. they used to be a team and felt they could beat anything life sent their way. now they just fought against each other. then she met an attentive, financially secure man who seemed to be the answer to all of her unmet longings.

she traded her life for the thrill of something new, the lure of something she perceived would be so much better.

but just two years later i ran into this friend and was stunned by her confession. with tears in her eyes she admitted that she'd discovered that fairy tales don't exist. every relationship feels exhilarating at the beginning, but then real life happens and marriage is hard work no matter whom you are married to. when i asked her to tell me about her new husband, she smiled shyly and said, "well, he's hairy."

what??

what did she just say? my mind was spinning. of all the words, all the descriptions, all the romantic terms i expected her to use, "hairy" was nowhere on the list. how telling that the man who was once so irresistible that she traded everything for, had now been reduced to one word....hairy!

i'm convinced that in marriage the grass isn't greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water and fertilize it."

wow.

being more of an optimist, i would like to say there is always hope remaining. however, i learned very clearly that is not the case in this particular instance. i believe there is a window of hope. but, once that window is sealed shut, it can be very difficult, if not impossible to open. how do i know this? by, having a very in-depth heart to heart conversation with a friend who chose the greener pasture. today, she will be the first to tell you........water your own yard. even in her particular case, i still tend to be hopeful. she reminds me..of the water under the bridge. there was a time when it would have been possible - but, she took a little too long and now....unless a complete restoration occurred from God (i'm always a hold out on this stuff) there is no way. too much pain, too many words, new relationships, scars, etc have occurred. she is regretful....but, as she says "i made my bed".

my heart breaks.