Wednesday, December 31, 2008

{another article}

I just may need to be an ongoing link to articles. Either that, or I am airing out all of my dirty laundry! But, this article was very good and is something I find myself struggling with due to life as we know it now. It is not intentional on my part as planning can be very difficult for us; even the smallest things. But, I have learned to refrain from sharing any plans with the boys for fear of changes and disappointment. That's the big stuff; but I'm learning to deal with that. It's those little everyday promises that I hate to admit, that sometimes, I find myself failing to keep or making myself keep them through much effort. Again, maybe this is entirely self-directed. But, it is big deal to me and one that deserves much focus. Unfortunately, I play out this exact scenerio way too often. I end up on the floor alot right here at my desk.

My black eyes are swollen.

A Mom Who Keeps Her Promises by Glynnis Whitwer

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:6-7 (NIV)

One day, just before the start of school, my middle son sat cross-legged on the ground, playing at the foot of my desk while I worked on the computer. Since he'd been out-thinking me from the time he was two, I shouldn't have been surprised at the conversation that ensued.

"Mom," he started simply. "When you were little, did Grandma ever tell you she'd get you a pony and then didn't?"

"No, she didn't," I answered, fully engaged and wondering where this line of thought would go.
"Well, you told us you'd take us to Toys "R" Us this summer and you didn't. That's a true lie," Dylan solidly proclaimed.

I was shocked that he remembered a promise from three months back, but more stunned by his reasoning. In the midst of being impressed by how his mind worked, I was convicted. He was right! Every time we drove past the toy store, my three little boys asked to stop and I'd put them off. It wasn't that we didn't have the time, but taking three boys into a toy store was pure torture. Either I should have taken them or I shouldn't have promised we would do it.

I stopped my work, joined him on the floor, and sincerely apologized for not following through on my commitment. That little 6-year-old taught me a lesson I'm still learning: I need to keep my promises to my children!

It's tempting to think the kids will understand when my schedule changes and it becomes inconvenient to keep a commitment. After all, they are "just" kids. Right? Wrong! I've discovered that after God and my husband, my children are the most important people to whom I should honor a promise.

The truth is while children may say they understand when we don't keep a promise, depending on their ages, it's really hard for them to fully grasp our complicated lives. All they know is they are eating a cafeteria lunch alone when mom said she'd bring a Happy Meal. Or they are in front of a TV when mom promised to take them to the park.

We all know life happens and interrupts even the best-laid plans. That's part of what we need to teach children รข€“ to be flexible. The problem arises when it becomes a habit. A mom who consistently backs out of promises will teach her children to do the same, and will leave them insecure and possibly resentful.

To become mothers who keep their promises, we need to guard our words and follow some daily practices. Don't make a promise simply to stop a child's repeated requests. Carefully consider your schedule and commitments before offering to do something. Start with small promises and build up to larger ones. If the promise has to do with an outing as a family, work together as a family to get everything done before going. Look beyond a child's words to her heart. Does her request have more to do with spending time with you than going to the park? If so, offer an alternative before you commit to something you probably can't do.

A mother has the high calling of modeling the faithfulness of God to her children. More than words, children watch actions. Will they find a mother who keeps her promises? If so, it will lead them to a God who keeps His promises.

and, to add to that, here is a link to one of my favorite bloggers, I love her heart! But, her last post somewhat goes with this and I did not even read it until after I posted this one....
Lots of Scotts

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