Monday, April 20, 2009

{reviews}

Wow. I have already received emails (two) regarding the post tonight. And, those were sent before I made the riveting revisions. So, by request (of one of the two) I may revisit things that absolutely did not happen to me. Ever. But, in case I ever were to, as any writer would, I would need to brainstorm topics. Topics that of course did not really occur. For instance.......

1) the car wash story. not once, but, twice.
2) the near-drowning event. in a car.
3) the near-drowning event in a pool.
4) hitting the dog that no one was walking.
5) hitting the dog chasing the rabbit that I did not run over.
6) never hitting that roadrunner. because that would not even be possible.
7) never being accused of backing down a mailbox.
8) never backing down an entry-way.
9) never having an under wire pierce a water-filled bra. (sorry Philip, you may want to avoid that post)
10) never being chased off of my front porch by coyotes. yikes!
11) never wasting valuable time climbing through a fence while nearly being kidnapped.
12) never catching the new house being constructed on fire while hanging insulation and grounding myself out at the very same time.
13) never getting my finger hung in a garage door while balancing on my tip-toes of that same exact house with no one around for miles.
14) no hair color mishap that turned my hair blue. can we say Elvis?
15) not making a stranger pass out in mid-flight by giving myself a fertility shot into the stomach. after numbing the area with a can of coke.
16) not ever having my first car stolen by the guy I loaned it to. and, surely I would have never dated him.
17) never having to be rescued by an ex-boyfriend, (who may now be my husband) from a likely serial killer because I would never be trying to make that ex-boyfriend jealous and got in over my naive head.
18) never pulled a garden hose that was attached to a house in Fianna - THROUGH Fianna. Oh, no, can likely never go there.
19) never getting pulled over by a policeman because I was in a race to get home for fertility drugs. I would hate for you to ever get the impression that for a stent in my life - my life revolved around fertility drugs.
20) and, since I am NOT on that topic. My BIL would have NEVER come home from work early on a day that involved a getting a brown paper bag at a very high speed across town in order for it to be spun. that could never have been related to number 18. not sure if this g-rated blog is appropriate for that. enough said. it was all in an effort to have a sweet little family.
21) i could have never been pulled over after speeding for a broken tail light and not have my DL, my insurance card or if I finally located the insurance card after a non-breathing 10 minutes search.....it had to be current. right?

well, IF I were to ever brainstorm. I am sure I could come up with nothing. Absolutely nadda.

No comments: