{out with the old, in with the new}

Well sort-of, for the season that is!

Up and down the attic stairs with bins of spring and summer clothes. I'm a little afraid of packing away all of my winter clothing as the minute I do, we will get 4 feet of snow. But the last two days of sun have made me ready to get it all out.

Of course, I am realizing I am missing one new skirt I bought at the end summer last year. If I have keyed in on that, what else is lost? There is no telling what is up there?

So, my washer will be running steadily as I have to rewash everything. Stupid, I know.

Soooo looking forward to lunch with friends tomorrow, a 3-day weekend with the kiddos, a date night with Scott and Easter services with the family.

{thanks, Stacy!}

My friend Stacy placed a link to an incredible song on her blog. I wanted to share it as well. As sad as this is for me to say, I've heard this song so many times on Air1 and absolutely did not "hear" the words. It's amazing. Thanks for sharing Stacy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAKBXBXz1fo&feature=related

As one comment said on Youtube: A great reminder. Reminding us how important GOD is in our lives and the lives of our family especially in these hard times.

{one down}

Evan is sick with tummy trouble. Hope he recovers quickly and the rest of us stay well! He is furious because he is missing practice. Again. We are not doing so well this season. :(

{fancy delivery?}

Who needs FDA when you have sweet little boys who bring you tree branches, weeds, leaves and roots? Honestly, as simple as it is......this is one of my very favorite things about being a mommy. (clarification: "Mom" to one, "Mommy" to the other :) Seeing these truly brings tears to my eyes. It always takes me back to the days when I didn't know.......if I would ever experience these little joys. I am so incredibly blessed! Particularly with the branches, sticks and weeds.......and, all that is in between!

I wouldn't trade these for a 100 bloomed roses........

Notice the leaves? LOVE it!

and, the roots.........

In this one, he drowned them in a cup of water. They are swimming!

My devotional day was quite fitting.

"The Growing Times"

Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ. Ephesians 4:15

If you look back over your life, you will see that you never grow during easy times; you grow during hard times. During the easy times that come, you are able to enjoy what you have gained through the hard times. This is really a life principle; it is just the way it works.

Hebrews 12:11 "For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

To be truly victorious, we must grow to the place where we are not afraid of hard times but are actually challenged by them. Because it is during these hard times that we grow.

{self-tanner update}

I am still a streaked-up, blotchy pumpkin. I am beginning to wonder if it is a permanent concoction?

However, I received some emails/posts re: what type I had originally used {that I love, love, love} prior to the bright idea of going store-brand.

It is Fake-Bake, spray-on. I do absolutely love it - no complaints at all. It looks very natural and I have never had an problem with the application. Obviously, after this last bout it is clear that I am application-challenged in a very big way.

But, it can be purchased at Ulta. I usually have to get two cans at a time as it pretty much stays sold out. And, it is $31 per can or something close. I think the one I substituted was $4.50. Enough said.

{spring break}

The weather put a kink in our plans most days. We didn't do much at all, but the boys and I got out yesterday for a movie and Chuck E. Cheese. I love having Noah home. So sad it's over.

{treasures}

All of you know that I have a very, very blessed friendship with Angela that I've had for years and years. We have been through so much together. We both are very thankful to God because I think it is a rarity. I also have many other dear friendships that I treasure deeply; for those I am very grateful as well. God has blessed me tremendously and I do truly appreciate that.

But, seriously, how do you gauge a friendship that is weighed by the requirement that you have to cheer lead them on no matter the choices they are making? Back to Angela and I, I value it so deeply that if she were doing something that was clearly wrong - I would totally call her out on it. And, I would completely expect for her to do the same for me. That IS real friendship defined. This complacency in which we have all jumped on the band wagon of being "politically correct" in order not to offend is literally killing me! We are totally losing sight of the truth. How in the world will our children even have a clue? It terrifies me to my core.

There is a huge difference in judging someone and seeing actions that are clearly right or wrong. I'm sorry, but the colors of black and white do really exist, and I get the fact that so does gray. But, black and white are easily seen. You can't cover it with a white-wash, it doesn't work. And, it makes the entire situation so incredibly hard when it is someone you genuinely care about and love. It makes the synapse fire haphazhardly and more often than not, mine completely misfires. And, the perception of that can.totally.spiral. Not a good thing.

Why are we expected to support whatever the choice, no matter? HOWEVER, that doesn't mean we no longer love or care for them. If we counter the choices in any manner, even by pulling back and being silent, we are suddenly deemed as not being a true friend. The choices and actions do not make me love or care for that friend any less. Even if they think it does. It makes me want to hug them tighter. I won't apologize for loving them, but I will disagree if the need arises. Maybe that love I have for them is why it hurts so much to see so many trails of devastation.

And, for that, I am not sorry. I am sorry for the lies that Satan weaves. It makes my heart sick.
There has just been so much of late, it actually feels like the sky is falling. And, in the immense feelings above, do not think for a second that I have placed myself or my husband or my family on a pedestal higher than yours. I have my own demons, they may just be different than yours. But, I am committed to working on mine. The only true blueprint I know to follow and completely trust is His word.

Sin is sin and whether it is socially gauged differently it is still sin. I am in a constant struggle within my own walls to "be kind" (thank you Uncle Paul - that will never be forgotten), avoid belittling, degrading - oh, believe me, the list goes on and on. If I ever entertain the thought {pride} that I am a pedestal of any kind - trust me, I am quickly knocked off. And, rightfully so. So, please do not think for a second that I have any false sense that my family and I are perfect. We are so far from it you have no idea. But, if I can personally make better choices day by day....I am thankful.

So, please do not think I am not your true friend, if I can't encourage certain decisions. I actually love and care for you more than you know. That is why it can hurt so much.

{pondering}

"I hate to see complacency prevail in our lives when it's so directly contrary to the teaching of Christ."

Jimmy Carter

*can't believe I just quoted JC - but, so true!

More later........I am in a full-blown, TMJ-inspired headache.

{welcome back}

mr. shineshine. you've been sorely missed!

{i love this}

“Smile, even if it's a sad smile, because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.” author unknown.

so true! so much to smile about.

{a bad sign?}

i was at the bar by 10 am.

the brow bar, that is. ;) very fun - you should check them out. amazing what she did after me wrecking havoc on them.

i'm not allowed to touch them.

i promised i wouldn't.

{still here!}

after a crazy few weeks when I thought things may calm down just a bit....

of course not!

I now have a horrible flare-up of my TMJ with an unrelenting headache (I do not know how Scott does it!) and a terrible case of allergies and/or cold AND have hurt my back. Again.

Oh. And, this last little tidbit is actually a note to self: the next time I entertain the thought of trimming the budget and opting for a cheap self tanner to replace the wonderful, albeit expensive self tanner that was "fool" proof. Don't.

Currently, I'm a blotched-up orange. Remember the self-tanners of the 80's? Well, apparently I found two cans of the stuff on Ulta's shelf that was left over from back in the day. I've had flashbacks of my orange legs in denim mini-skirts.

Maybe it's a great thing I don't really feel like getting out of the house right now. You would think I was in a splotchy orange-version of liver failure. It's really that bad. Actually, worse.

{spring break 2010}

we started off with a bang. or, i guess i should say a blizzard.

the last few days were a blur anyway. and, i didn't watch garrett. when they were mentioning the weather at a wedding on saturday, i didn't pay too much attention. they talked about a dusting to possibly two inches which typically equates to zilch for us.

for months, i had been looking forward to hearing a speaker that would be at church sunday morning. i hoped out of bed and put my eggo into the toaster. about 45 seconds later, no power. hmmmm.....i looked outside the window. UNBELIEVABLE! we called my in-laws as i was still determined to make it to church (they did have electricity) but, no cars were out on the highway in front of their house. scott grounded me. i have a history with driving and snow. not a good one.

i was soooooooo disappointed! but, when i opened my front door and saw this....it didn't last too incredibly long. amazing. hadn't it just been 70 degrees two days prior?

the boys barely survived the approximate 13 hours without electricity. they would have never made it in the frontier days. ever. we bundled up, sat by our fire, played lots of games and cards. it was perfect for me. scott had a horrendous headache - likely from the weather.

and, today, we woke up to sunshine! it's a muddy, muddy mess out there. and, thankfully the boys are wanting to do a little of nothing this week - they actually want to be home. we will see how long that lasts! :)

think i'm ready to look at condos for vacation!

{my breakfast of champions}

brownies and a coke.

maybe not the best nutritionally, but so yummy!

{resting in Him}

Read this a few days ago, so true, so appropriate.

May Your faithful love rest on us, for we put our hope in You. Psalm 33:22

This past week has seemed like a year packed into a seven-day period. Just very thankful that the above is completely true.

And...even though there is much to this life we will never fully understand, or in some cases not ever come close to understanding......we can absolutely choose to trust.

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways. For as Heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8 - 9

{black out}

You have no idea how excited I am that Taylor's team is going to the State Finals! And, that Scott will actually be going. We have been dying to see him play all season as the boys just think he's the greatest (he's the one they think is a Rock Star due to his performance at their music recital before Christmas - remember, anyone who can play besides a Jonas Brother is a huge star!) But, I'm looking forward to the little road trip with my family and to be with family (that we hardly ever get to see). And, Lo - I have no yellow scarf - I'll let you sport that for all of us! :) Can't wait!

{oops, i did it again!}

forgot I had a peel on my face.

{S.O.S.!}

Girls, I am in desperate need of some help in the kitchen.

I am in a redundant quandary.

And, being that one of my two children is EXTREMELY picky (i know, TH!) and that I simply refuse to cook two meals.....I need help.

So, what is your family dinner staple? Feel free to throw in some healthy choices as well.

I am at a loss. Or, more accurately, a repetitive repeat.

Help!

added: oh, yeah.......an issue is that they do not like casserole type dishes (none of them) which I do, so that it and of itself makes me sad!

{In Memory of Ava}

I tried and tried to get the postcard to post here. Please take the time to go to the link below and share it with all of those you can....absolutely heartbreaking.

http://avasrule.com

{23 years}

yesterday marked the day i was without my daddy for 23.long.years.

i had intended to post something in an effort to be somewhat cathartic, but just soaked it all in for myself throughout the day.

i do wish i could forget the horror from that morning. it's that type of thing that truly leaves a lifetime of scars. it's hard not to remember the exact moments contained within those first 24-48 hours in 1987.

but, the good memories definitely outweigh those last moments.

for me, it's mostly about he and i missing out on sharing the boys as well britt. what would he have been like as a grandpa? what would he think of me "all grown up?", would his hands still look the same? what would he do with his boys? would he and my aunts still visit for hours? would he still tinker with cars?

that's the really, really hard part.

{snippets}

*was literally not at home at all this weekend except for a little sleep. where did that weekend go? :(

*finally got new shoes for the boys. we are stocked. poor things, noah had holes in two pair that i didn't even know about.

*we weren't playing, then we were, then we weren't, then we were......and we are! he had a great time. t-ball has arrived!

*new phone ordered. check. that is the 6th one since I dropped the other one in a glass of soda.
and, as soon as I ordered it, realized scott was due for an upgrade. drats!

*mw: so happy it wasn't me. and, it would never, ever have been intentional - but, sometimes my foot just stuffs itself into my mouth. also, did you get my message that i have the pillow i think you are looking for??? so sorry! maybe if i could lose a pillow my closets would get cleaned?

*hg: that was me. but, i didn't know you didn't wave because your windows are SOOO dark! :)

*praying for the 188th and their families today.

*aunt j: did get the message from adrianna re: storm cellar! thanks! hope we won't have to use it tonight. hope you are feeling so much better!

*road trip to hot springs saturday to watch Taylor play in the state tournament! go hornets! soooo happy it finally worked out with my schedule. it's a miracle! my schedule, not that they have won.

{no phone home}

I have no cell phone.

Again.

Is this the 4th or 5th time in the past 2 years?

Let's just say it went swimming in a glass of soda.

That's the 2nd time that has happened.

Bye-Bye Blackberry.

I'll shop E-bay tomorrow.

Again.

Third times a charm right?

If you need me, call me at home.

That's probably better anyway as the messages/texts had been haphazardly making their way through cyberspace to my space.

Head.Hurts.

{be back later}

I've got a wedding today. Hope everyone enjoys this beautiful Saturday!

{verse for today}

I receive a daily scripture from heartlight.com

One of my very favorites and one I soooo need to be aware of 24/7 arrived today -

"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Deuteronomy 6:6-7, New International Version


By far, my most important "job".

{THE decision}

Or, his decision. He is playing! Bless his heart, he waffled back and forth so much. Very much like his mommy the last few days!



And, literally, he made it and we received the notification the team had been split. So much for my 3.7 seconds of happiness to see TH and HG again. Drats!

{seriously?}

did i just hear molly bark? maybe? maybe not?

seriously, have you even known a dog that doesn't bark? she just tried, but, it sounded more like a frog caught in her throat.

{another demise}

I saw a friend today. She and her husband of 16 years are separated. A total shock to me. As we stood there in the grocery store it broke my heart as she explained how she married so young and just really needed some "me time" at this point. And, she knows her husband will not wait for her forever, and that is a risk she is willing to take.

It got worse.

When I told her that I was going to pray for an amazing restoration, one that was beyond her wildest dreams.

My stomach lurched as I saw her reaction. It was as though I had just thrown cold water in her face or even worse, spit on her.

She told me very quickly..."No, do not pray we get back together. I don't want you or my mom praying for that. Just pray that it all works out for the best."

"I again, told her that was what I was praying for." She reminded me that is not a prayer she wants prayed for them.

My.heart.breaks.

{parenting 101}

This is a very selfish post on my part. What to do, what to do? But, basketball season with Evan has ended and he is heartbroken. He still plays outside on the carport every day. He keeps asking when it will start again. And, in the midst, has realized how much he enjoyed basketball and how he didn't t-ball. Well, he has decided very assuredly that he does not want to play t-ball this summer. When I reminded him of his friends playing, he was a little hesitant but asked me if he would see them at church and school next year, I said yes. He said, okay then, I don't want to play. It initially came up just yesterday. Scott and I were utterly shocked. We explained over and over this is not something you can start back once we make the decision; for this year anyway. And, in his defense, I honestly did not mention t-ball to him much before signing him up, I just thought it was a given.

And, then I got REALLY excited when I learned that several of his little friends would be on this team this year; which equates to several of mommy's friends being on his team this year. I was SOOOO excited as I was already in mourning that Noah decided not to play, thus my social time with the several of those same moms would be negated. UNTIL their little ones joined our little team. I was ecstatic! Unfortunately, I had not kept Evan in the decision/equation too much.

He is very emphatic that he does not want to play. We have explained it up one side and down the other. Once he figured out he could still see his friends, his ONLY concern was the slushes. So, he has until tonight to really think it over, and I learned that his first practice is Sunday. So, based on tonight's discussion, will likely phone his coach and give him a heads-up in case someone else may need a team. I would love to see him at least go to practice on Sunday, but, I think we will let him take the lead on this. I can't let my disappointment make him do something he would not be happy with. Just can't do it.

He's only five.

And, it's not like there are any scouts camped out on our front lawn.

THE sweetest thing of all, that makes this a tad easier....when I asked him if he would like to try another sport, activity, etc....his very prompt answer: "Nope. I just want to relax this summer and fish a lot before Kindergarten. Mommy, will you fish with us too.?"

Okay, ladies....I had MUCH rather be sipping slushes and eating popcorn with you on the hot bleachers this summer. But, it looks as though I may be casting reels and using a lot of bug spray. And, in the end.....I will be just as happy on the pond bank as I would the bleachers (minus the girlfriends) but, I have to keep reminding myself...this so isn't about me.

{sniff, sniff!}

If you see me in black tomorrow......I am in mourning x 2.

Will keep you posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!

addendum: just to be clear......before I get in trouble with anyone.....I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little sad. But, at same time, I think it will work out great for some "down" time that I think my little family is in desperate need for. So, all will be good - whatever he decides. And, we can always come watch! ;)

But, I may still be in black tomorrow. ;)

{music to my ears}

Wow. Noah is really progressing with his piano. Of course, we are still only about 6 months of so into it, but he moved up to his third book and to hear him play his latest......"Jesus Loves Me" honestly brings tears to my eyes.

The status on Evan and piano. He has decided he no longer wants to be a Jonas Brother. Without hesitation he has decided piano is not for him.

{new ride for the boys & i}

well, it's actually very used. but, i've been searching high and low for a very depreciated, reliable vehicle as the miles i have been wracking up on the suv has been ridiculous. i spied and test drove a cute little {very used} land rover a few weeks ago. but, it had problems and when we researched it out further....would likely have been buying a headache. and, still in my ongoing search - the miles kept logging in. nevermind the school commute, from just last monday to this monday scott had 6 md appointments. he has another today at 1 pm.

so, if you see a strange girl {i CANNOT describe myself as a woman, yikes} waving madly at you when i meet you. it's just me.

{devil v. angel}

ha!

Noah had just been in trouble and had walked outside to take Mollie.

Evan seized the opportunity!

"Hey, Dad you know, I'm almost always a really good kid now."

Daddy agreed.

"Well, something happened when I turned 5. I don't know how to explain it. But, when I was four I was like a little dare devil kid."

{He inadvertently used the word dare, he meant to say devil. That particular adjective was misused.}

"But, then I turned five and all of a sudden, I turned into a really good kid didn't I?"

Well, SOMETHING happened. I'm just not sure what? :)

{O}

Calgon, Calgon, wherefore art thou Calgon?

I so need you on this Monday morning.

It is a Monday morning. In.every.sense.of.the.word.

And, even if I could realistically turn to Calgon.

What did they go and do?

Discontinue my favorite fragrance! Actually, the only one I liked!

Monday, Monday. :(

Here's to Tuesday!