{oh, how i love them}

Another summer off from sports. 

I always question it as everyone else seems to be

participating in something, but, mine had rather run around

and play here at the farm. Well, having friends over to run around

and play here at the farm is the perfect situation.

But, I feel like that season for us will be coming to a halt.

This may be that last, free summer for many years to come as

lil' man has been counting down the days {almost literally} until

3rd grade football.  Camp would be next summer. 

We were talking about that on the drive to school this morning

and he loved the idea of camp but was a little baffled about

his summer.  Initially his response was.....

"Yay, my favorite sport is athletics".

ha.

I about drove off the road on that one.

Noah tried to negotiate not having Evan start until

4th grade. I think he about had him convinced and

then quick kisses were given to daddy & I,

the back door opened, & they raced out to start their day.

:)  . 

I'm looking forward to the conversation on the way home.

{happy birthday}

Dear Sweet Noah:

Some of the very best words I have ever heard in my entire life....."It's a boy".  I still have that piece of paper I scribbled it on as she said those words on the other end of the phone.  Maybe not the most traditional means to learn of whether you were a boy or a girl...but, a phone call that would lead us to you...and such a sweet, sweet life with you.  The best phone call of my life.

I could write a novel about you and everything you mean to us.  There just aren't enough words.  You have given me joy like I've never known.  The ten days before I got to hold you in my arms were truly the longest of my life.  But, more than worth the wait.  We've talked a lot lately about our adoption journey.  I think all four of us {little brother included} feel completely blessed to have been chosen to take this route to our life together.

You.  Wow, you encompass so much.  You are funny in such a funny sort-of way.  {yes, I will still be getting you a joke book;).  Your intelligence shocks me; I pray that you use that gift wisely.  Your loving nature and affection stops me in my tracks {literally as you chase me down for those hugs regularly and I LOVE it!}.  You love God and you are growing that relationship in such a way that makes your daddy and I so proud.   You are the best big brother ever.  I love the closeness the two of you have and pray it never goes away.   I love that you love to read as much as I do.  My favorite time is when we are in our reading room "formally known as the train room" as we are both snuggled up lost in wherever the book is taking us; but lost together.  I love reading a book with you and probably will until you leave my wing.   I love those sky blue eyes even though they give me the hardest time when I try to take your picture.  It's worth it.   I love your Ceasar hair.   I love that you like a certain girl and are totally playing it cool.  I love that you love and surround yourself with such great friends.  They have all become such an important part of our life and without them, I would have missed out on amazing friendships as well.  God works things out in such a wonderful way like that.  I love that you have a list of cousins who you have no clue they aren't acutally cousins by true definition.   Or maybe you do know, but know that it doesn't matter, that family is defined in more ways than one.  I love what your sweet teachers say to me about you.   I love that you are having a heart for missions and are planning a trip for the two of us to accomplish that.   I love the way you tell me I'm beautiful even when I know I'm hideous and in the same yoga pants for two days in a row.  I love how you come behind me when I'm working at the computer for long stretches and rub my shoulders. 

I love how you love all of us.

I get overcome with so many different emotions when I realize that out of the thousands of couples waiting....God chose us to have the awesome honor of YOU.  It overwhelms me.  I am grateful beyond belief.  I just pray that I always live up to why he chose me to be your mother.  I love you with every fiber I am and am thankful every day to be your mom.

Happy 11th Birthday Noah Benjamin!     

{bye George}

Yes.  That is a Christmas tree in the background.

In my defense, it is undecorated.

BUT, because the lights went out this year and it was a prelit...

Scott strung and ATTACHED new strings of lights to the

tree so it will no longer come apart.  We've been waiting to take

the entire thing to storage.  But, every time it's planned, something

goes awry.  I think I just need to go ahead and decorate it for next year.

Now, to the point of this post. 

I dropped the boys off at school and headed to the office.

I left the office at 9:30 for a dental appointment.

I returned to the office at 12:30 to work until 2:30.

I then drove back to Greenwood to pick up boys and drive them

back into town for their dental appointments.  Finished at 5.

Both were starving and in the middle of trying to get food for them

Noah informs me he needs a costume of George Washington 

by in.the.morning.  Grrrrrr.....

Off to Walmart to try and come up with something.

He finished up his Power Point in costume.  

And, yes those are clean, unfolded clothes piled on the chair.

BECAUSE....let's not just have to buy a new refrigerator,

a new dryer, but let's just throw in a new washing machine in as well.

I.will.never.get.caught.up.

Now, off to work on photography stuff as well as a file that

sits in the front seat of my car.  Long night ahead.

{bestill my heart}

{sweetness}

since molly claimed the other one...

this little one has found her boy....

probably because he slowed down long enough

for her to catch him {wink} 

and, then there's molly,

ignoring it all....

{this is what i heard}

as they were playing just dance II on the wii.

evan:  "okay, noah, i'll let you make me do the pussy cat dolls song

if i get to choose next time."

noah:  "okay"

evan:  "man, i hate that."

:)    

{neglect?}

I'm on a roll tonight.

I was tucking Noah in and he made a verbal note of

the fact that he has been wearing only underwear and t-shirt

to bed x the last three nights.  This is quite odd for him since 

he is VERY modest.  Yes, I had noticed, but hadn't said a word. 

Then he quips in, "yes, I've had to wear this because no one seems

to be doing the laundry around here anymore."

Nice.  

{i just heard.....}

"Noah, get me a flashlight."

"Noah, get me a flashlight."

As Evan hauled my purse across the room.

He's looking for his pack of gum.

In the bottom.

Have you lifted my purse lately?

{epic fail}

If you know me, you know that I've had quite the few tooth fairy mishaps. 

I won't go into details over those in the past; been there, done that. 

Over the past week, Noah lost two molars. 

The first one was picked up a night late because, well, he didn't

go to bed at bedtime.  You know, the Tooth Fairy is strict like that.

Just ask Dr. Aunt Angie.  We have lots of inside information.

Well, on tooth #2, the unthinkable happened.

My mom came over.  And, because the tooth was still under

his pillow IN A SOCK because, once again he has missed

bedtime the night before. {obviously, she does not give any

mercy for a summer schedule}.  Well, my mom did some laundry

for me.  The tooth was never to be found. 

So, being the sad mom that I was, I wrote a letter.

Dear Sweet Tooth Fairy:

{No pun intended, really}.  As the proud mom of a super

little guy, I have a heartfelt request.

Last night Noah pulled a tooth.  As you know, he pulled a left

molar a week ago.  This one is the matching molar on the right. 

He placed it in a sock under his pillow last night.  As you are well

aware, he went to bed past his bedtime and broke the Tooth Fairy

Constitution.  So, you did not come.  Well, today, Grandma Pat came. 

 And, unknown to her was the treasure in his sock that she found in his bed

as she made it. 

We think she laundered it. :( 

I know you are a very considerate little lady.  Please make a special

exception and make a visit tonight.  If we ever find it, we will notify Aunt

Angie  {aka Dr. Wiggins} as we know that the two of you are great friends.

She can either forward it to you by her courier or give us permission to place

it under his pillow  again.  I will make certain he gets to bed on time.

With Best Regards,

Shannon  Walker

{happy to also be known as Noah's mom}

ps, we know you very likely have a busy night.

Please fly safely.

ch-ching!  she came and left $5! :)

{quiet day on the homefront}

I got a late reschedule on Thursday for Friday evening.

And, what does this crazy mama do?

Stay up all night working, get up at the crack of dawn and

work some more, and, then, load two sleepy-headed

boys in the car, run errands and surprise them with a 

trip to Magic Springs.  On my own. 

Maybe not the brightest idea in the world. 

And, honestly, it went pretty seamless.  The point

in which I had trouble was that Evan is still too small for

so many of the rides and of course being the younger

brother who thinks there should be no difference in

he and big brother despite the age discrepancy along

with waiting on big brother on those rides....made for

a pretty sulky day at times.   He asked me if he

ate alot of protein over the weekend, could we go back

next week because he would be tall enough! 

I do love his determination. ;)

But, with that exception our day was really good.

The park was not crowded in the least, so we may have

had to wait 2 turns at the most to ride whatever we wanted. 

BUT,  I almost turned the car around in Waldron because

it was then I began getting concerned that something

was going on with Noah other than just being tired from me

waking them up.  Our summer sleeping routine is totally

wrecked right now.  He convinced me he was fine, but, 

he dragged all day.  I just made sure they had PLENTY

of water in the 200+ temperatures and lots of breaks.  They

both slept on the way home and Evan rebounded this morning,

but, Noah didn't.  So.....with a super early bedtime and no 

outside play today, I'm hoping he wakes up feeling better

tomorrow.   Besides a few errands I had to run today, we have

been camped out watching movies and reading today.  

And, that part has been nice.  Although, some plans I had

for tonight had to be scratched. :(  Hopefully tomorrow will 

be a better day because Monday will be a nonstop day for us.

{answered}

The day it hit seems like yesterday.  And, then, it seems like a lifetime ago. 

He was three.  Evan was a few weeks old.  It started with some stomach

pain and vomiting and quickly progressed to uncontrollable pain.   On to the

ER we went.  I thought it was surely appendicitis.  When the phone calls

started occurring just outside our doorway to specialists, my heart sank.  Of

course, I diagnosed him with all sorts of things within that 20 minute time span,

including polycystic kidneys.  He was hospitalized at St. Edwards as they

worked to get him into ACH.  I would sleep with him in his hospital bed and 

get coverage to go over to a hotel and nurse Evan.  Then, he was stable and 

we were sent to ACH.  One of THE worst experiences in my life as a mom

as the diagnostic testing was EXCRUCIATING for him.  Angela and I paced

outside the doors when I would have to leave {per hospital staff} and then would

return to try and get him through it.  Being tied to the bed did not help matters. 

The rest of the family, well, they were pacing too. 

Diagnosis:  hydronephrosis of the kidneys.  Prognosis included everything from 

one end of the spectrum: transplants {yes, it involved both} to surgery to

no additional problems.  It would be a wait and see game.  A game that would

basically last his lifetime.   It was scary and heartbreaking. Typically it only

affects one kidney, but he somehow ended up with both.   The next several years held

MANY trips to the ER, continued testing, followups, and trips and a hospitalization

back at ACH.   Well, I found out Tuesday night after returning from being with Marta

and the girls most of the day, that we had an appt at ACH the next day.  Not

on my radar at all.  So, yesterday morning the four of us headed down. 

Long story short, after scans and meeting with two different physicians.....we are

released!  I kept doubting what I had heard.  The scans showed stability comparable

to last years scan with good kidney growth.  Since we have not had an obstruction in years

along with no infections.......for now, we are released. Yippee!  And, there always

seems to be a "but" with this diagnosis.  We are technically released until either

a) he has another bout with pain, obstruction or infection or b) when he turns or gets

near turning 18.  At either point we will be back in business with ACH.  At 18, he

will be given extensive testing again and be referred on to an adult urologist.

Although both kidneys have improved dramatically - he was almost as bad

as it could get when he was initially diagnosed - he will always have this to

look after and deal with.  But, for now, we are thrilled and thankful for

the news!  And, are just going to accept it for what it is today.  :)  

He does start have to wearing a watch because he is not doing too well on the

every 2 hour routine of emptying the bladder.  So, he will be "beeping" for

however long it takes to get back on track with that.  :)

We did have quite the eventful attempt to leave LR.  We were going to run across

town and see friends for a few minutes, but the skies did NOT look too good 

when we exited the hospital.  Found a local radio station about the time a tornado

warning was being issued for the area of Maumelle and I40.  So, south we went

taking the long way home through Hot Springs.  We did have a nice lunch 

and because we are getting season passes to Magic Springs this year, the

boys planned our summer out.   CANNOT wait to have them home with us!!!   

A happy, happy mom here! 

{hmmmm....}

I'm thinking I've got a sick one.

I got them up for church this morning and he was coughing, but that was

really it besides he kept telling me he just didn't feel well at all.

No tummy ache, no fever,  no sore throat, no sinus drainage, no rash.

Just didn't feel good. 

And, as I scurried around {I ALWAYS scurry on Sunday mornings} 

I realized he was MIA.  He had crawled into my bed.  And was sound asleep.

I decided to stay home with him as Scott's day started off bad.

So, he is still sleeping soundly at this late hour of 12:20 pm.

Something is definitely amiss! 

{stay tuned}

I have a feeling the boys that came to Noah's BD party last night.....may

never forget it.  For good reasons & not-so-good reasons.

I have LOTS of pictures to blackmail them with through the years.

Senior year was mentioned a time or two.  Or, three.

Tons of laughs, one man down {BLESS HIS HEART}, a houseful

of super-awesome kids that I am VERY proud and

thankful are a part of our life; we adore their parents

just as much. I do think I inhaled one too many fumes

from the massive amount of silly string, but other than

that, I made it through the night unscathed.   And, despite the event

of the night I wish would have just passed right by without stopping, 

I did get one on JC.  And, oh, happy day that little moment was!!

I think he was pretty much cringing.  I'm sure of it.  Definitely

more on that later.  hehehehehehe!

The house is almost back in order.  A few things to dry out still. ;) 

A little man, the birthday man, is sound asleep on the couch and has

been for hours.  Aviator glasses and all.   

I'm still finding silly string in my hair, carpet, shoes, etc. 

Not a lot of leftovers thankfully; these boys have become

big eaters.  :)   At one point about 8 of them were piled

on a couch.  They were on the arms, the backs - completely

squeezed in laughing their little heads off over funny youtube

 videos.   I freeze-framed that moment.  Most of them have

been together since they were around 4, if not before.  Our time is

definitely fleeting with them, but I can't let myself dwell on that; 

I am so looking forward to the years to come with these little guys. 

And, I'm planning my own counter-attack to the silly string fiasco

for next year.  Boys beware!!!! :)    

{2/19/11}

Okay, so the big 10 did not go off as planned.

And, of course, major-mommy guilt ensued.

Three weeks of illness, definitely dampered the Secret Agent Party.

And, even the family party. 

Dampered, not quite right, postponed to be exact.

Rain checks were issued and he  accepted as a trooper. 

But, we did take him out to eat at The Barn {his choice} Friday night.

He had the lunch of his choice yesterday:  grilled steak, Pioneer Woman

mashed potatoes, hot rolls, Ceasar salad {for evan}, guac {for Scott and I} 
and Paula Deen's Strawberry Sponge Cake.

{p.s. I bought this years cake at Wal-mart.  Last year
for Easter I made her 3 or 4 layer Strawberry cake,
which was so good, but has actual strawberries
in it, so, Evan will not eat it. But,
this store-bought cake was sooooooo good!
Very impressed}  Now, to just STAY AWAY
from it!

He got several new spring shirts

 {all sports related, what happened to the cute-sy stuff?}

An iTunes gift card and a new Donky Kong Wii game. 
We got his new bike a couple weeks early when we had several
nice days.  You never know about this Arkansas weather.  
We could have been in the middle of a blizzard on his birthday! 

We had an "abbreviated" photo session.  I wasn't able to

even get his outfit {clothes, according to N, he hates it when I

refer to them as 'outfits'} for the urban shoot I had planned.  But, 

those have now been ordered.  Rain check for that shoot as well,

he was happy about that one for sure. ;)  

I am doing as little as possible today, in hopes that my back

will rebound.  It feels different today.  Not great, but, I'm not

in the agony I was yesterday.   I feel terrible that his day

was so "blah", but thankfully they both always seem to enjoy

laid-back days. 

 We got to have lunch on the patio, so nice!!!  Although we had to block

the candles by pillows so they would light. :)

Now, to start planning two belated birthday parties!!  

{happy 10th birthday my sweet boy}

Where do I even start?

We are now in double digits. 

I told you to stop growing so fast YEARS AGO.

And, you continue to totally disobey me. 

So unlike you!

But, on a serious note {not that I am not being serious with the 

slowing it down directions}, but, as always today is such a big

day for all of us.  I cannot make it through the day, just like every other

mother, unless I am constantly looking at the clock immediately

going back to exactly where and what I was doing all.day.long.   Until we

got THE call that would forever change our lives. 

I know that we tell you constantly, but, there is nothing that we would

change in our journey to each other.  God's plan for our family was

bigger and better than anything we could have dreamed up on our own.

I looked at scrapbooks today {and, yes, of course I cried}.

I read this for the first time in forever.  I remember when I wrote it,

I felt as though my heart would literally burst out of my chest.   Simply

from the sheer happiness and thankfulness I felt. 

"Before You"

Before you were in my thoughts,

You were in my heart.

I have always carried you,

We've never been apart.

Before I ever saw your face,

I saw you in my dreams.

I saw your tears, I saw your fears,

I knew what you would need.

Before I held you in my arms,

I held you in my heart.

You've always been a part of me,

You've forever been my plea. 

Before I heard your cries and laughs,

God brought me to my knees,

To pray for you and pray for me.....

For the family we would be.

Before I ever called you mine,

I knew that I'd be yours.

For as long as you would need me,

You've been that deep within.

Before God placed you in my arms,

He placed you in my heart.

Before God placed you in my life,

He placed you deep within.

So, that when we would be together,

We would know we've always been.

I love you Noah Benjamin!

It is a privilege to be your mom and you make my

job unbelievably easy.  Thanks for being such a great

& wonderful son!

Happy, happy 10th Birthday my sweet lil'man!

{one down}

Noah is the first one to fall.  :(

Thankfully he got a few hours of play outside 

before it hit.

And, boy is it hitting fast.

Get well soon Noah B! 

I love, love, love you.

{oh dear}

I'm afraid Noah is going down.

It appears that he's sinking fast. 

Praying we do not repeat last year.

{collections}

There is nothing like finding a cicada shell

in a ziploc bag ready for your viewing.

On your desk, I might add.

The child collects everything.

Dead or alive.

Body or shell.

It really doesn't matter.

At all.

Poor Noah, he just tolerates whatever

they find outside

together.

{softie}

Evan is sitting in the floor crying because he just killed a fly.

Noah is crying because he is laughing so hard at his brother.

{amazing!}

hmmmm...

Last night I had about a 30 minute stretch of time in which I wanted to break away from my desk and read. So, I grabbed one of my books. {I typically read about 5-6 books at a time} This particular one I had not picked up in probably about 3-4 weeks.

I had dog-eared a page, so I turned to it. For me, that isn't a flag of a great find to go back to...but the place I left off preceded that page....it was where I was to begin next.

I promise, this is what I read...

God will always give you everything you need to do his will, including time. Don't live in a rush. Elisabeth Elliot

Do you think that maybe someone is trying to tell me something?

That was the very same quote I had read and referenced from my morning devotion. Two different books. A 'random' booked I pulled from one of my shelves with just a little time to squeeze in a quick read.

This time it was from "How to Build Your Home on Holy Ground" by Donna Otto.

Here are a few other things that I read for the first time, but had to "re-read" because they spoke out so much to me...

"Being intentional about your life goals, your purposes and your priorities is an important antidote to cultural chaos. If you set aside time to listen to God's specific call on you life and focus your energy on fulfilling that call, you'll be far less likely to waste your time on the cultural treadmill. You'll be living your life my conviction, not circumstance...and your life will be much more peaceful."

The next page contained a quote from Elizabeth Prentiss...

"If you could once make up your mind in the fear of God never to undertake more work of any sort than you can carry on calmly, quietly, without hurry or flurry, and the instant you feel yourself growing nervous, like one out of breath, would stop and take a breath, you would find this simple common sense rule doing for you what no prayers or tears could ever accomplish."

So stopped and I took that breath last night after I laid out a plan for the busy work weekend that lies ahead of me. Then, I stopped. I put a very late family dinner on the table {don't ask what it was, but it still counts!} and the conversations that I had with both boys {all three}, but especially the time spent with Noah after everyone else retreated back to the living room were priceless.

I am amazed as always. What are the mathematical odds of that happening as I own a small scale library?

No coincidence.

I'm listening.

and, learning.