{hmmm.....}

36 days.

But, who is counting??

Summer here we come. 

{is it......}

      a bird, a plane.....a           

a popcorn machine??

Sometimes.

Some days.

It really doesn't take much.

And, it just make my heart smile. 

                    

{making memories}

This year, instead of exchanging gifts {that would very likely eventually be purged;},

Angela & I decided to have a craft/play day for the kids with yummy, healthy

foods like donuts and coffee cake, Christmas cokes and some coffee with our cream. 

Perfectly healthy.

And, as funny as it was that the kids were much more interested in playing

than completely our fun, well-thought out projects.....memories were definitely

made.  It was much better than any gift exchange.  Here are a few pictures

of our memory making day.  The only negative was when it ended!

We will definitely be making this a tradition!

 A PREASSEMBLED Gingerbread House! 
That solves many issues of years past!
It is the first one ever that didn't collapse.

Maybe we should use one for the barn rebuild. ;) 

And, this idea from pinterest as well.  I forgot to "turn" the picture. 
And, it still needed a trunk.

Well, to be honest, still does.  Maybe I'll paint that
before I display it next year. 

But, I love looking at their little hand prints. 
Well, on anything but the windows.

And, really that makes me swoon too!

 

{these are the days i savor....}

sunday afternoons, fall and hay bales.

it doesn't get any better for these two as they spend

HOURS and HOURS out there.  it's the first place they

want to go when we pull in from school and the place i have

to call them in from at night.  simple joys.

{sweetness}

since molly claimed the other one...

this little one has found her boy....

probably because he slowed down long enough

for her to catch him {wink} 

and, then there's molly,

ignoring it all....

{big words}

"Children should have the best of their mothers........"

Charlotte Mason

I LOVE that!

And, need to remember that often.

{if our flies could talk}

I know it seems as though I only blog about Evan.

But, tonight Noah was up to his eyeballs in homework.

And, Evan is the one usually pulling all of the antics. 

It's just in him really.

At bedtime.....

Me:  Boys get to bed it's past bedtime.

Evan:  pllllleeeaaasse let me just finish this game.

Me:  no, to bed now.

Evan:  seriously, it doesn't take me long to die, so

it won't take me long to get to bed.

Me:  refusing to give in.

Evan: mom, please, just let me die!  And, then

I'll obey I promise!

Did he just really say that?

As he kissed me....

Evan:  and, can you lay my clothes out?

I need an early start in the morning. 

And, where is Noah at this time?

In bed where he should be.

{great day}

Today was a really, really great day. 

I plan on wallowing in it all week as the week ahead

does not look too appealing. 

Our sermon today was great.  We are still in

Ephesians and I'm soaking in every word. 

Now, to apply it like I should. 

And, we started our new Life Group class today.

It was somewhat bittersweet as we left the one

we had been in since we began at FBG. 

Although, for a significant amount of time we 

have not even been hit or miss in our old class -

 more like miss and miss some more.  Terrible actually.

But, we started fresh today and absolutely loved it and

am looking forward to the new journey.  It is

focused on parenting, particularly middle school parenting.

Troy quoted  a portion of the following from J.C. Ryle and

it hit my heart directly....and, I know it will be read over

and over by me for many years to come.....

“Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you truly love them, then often think about their souls. Nothing should concern you as greatly as their eternal destiny. No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die.

“This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all that you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, ‘How will this affect their souls?’

“A true Christian must not be a slave to what’s currently ‘in-fashion,’ if he wants to train his child for heaven. He must not be content to teach them and instruct them in certain ways, merely because it is customary, or to allow them to read books of a questionable sort, merely because everybody else reads them, or to let them form bad habits, merely because they are the habits of the day. He must train with an eye to his children’s souls. He must not be ashamed to hear his training called odd and strange. What if it is? The time is short—the customs of this world are passing away. He that has trained his children for heaven, rather than for the earth—for God, rather than for man—he is the parent that will be called wise in the end.”

~ J.C. Ryle

Awe. 

   I have only  read a bit about J.C. Ryle, but, it looks as though I will be reading more.
From what I have quickly read, his writings are very intriguing. 

And, from a little research,  there is a lot to read by this man.

But, how true is the above??  It made me stop dead in my tracks and really
examine some things in my life.......our family life.   It is amazing how even
 the smallest decisions we may make on a day to day basis as just part of the
 ebb and flow can/may/will have a most definite impact on their literal souls.  

Yes, my perspective changed instantly. 
We didn't really discuss the following, but, I have
been pondering it all day.  And, likely will be all night.

 I think I've always tried to be the best mom I could with their souls 
always very apparent to me.  I've always tried to make the moments
 matter, etc.

But, it was easier to keep my eye on the prize when
 I was thinking in those terms with my "mom-brain." 
But, this quote took me much deeper. 
What about the "little things"
that I may personally do, or not do;
those things that are not necessarily associated
with me being their mom,
but maybe as a friend, wife or daughter.  
The things they see or hear me do, or maybe the things
that only I would know about such as holding grudges, judging, 
holding onto bitterness..."the hidden things".

The things that actually separate me from God. 
They don't have to be one of the "big ten" to be 
disastrous nonetheless.  And, honestly, those are probably
the most dangerous of all to all of those around us. 

Things I think they may not be aware of because I'm not necessarily
 in mommy-mode when I am harboring them.  
If I am separated, how can I effectively be cultivating the utmost of their little souls?

The truth is, I can't.

  Every moment matters. 
Every thought counts. 
 Every unconfessed sin corrupts.

Yes, this mommy had a major eye-opening experience as
I fought back the tears when I heard the above quote. 
 It took me to a much deeper examination of my own heart.  
Because if my heart is not in the right place, how can I help 
authentically lead theirs to the right place.

The eternal place.

Heavy? Yes.  

Easy? No.

But.......I'm honored to be the one. :)

A definite work in progress.

{molly-girl}

I am not certain if she is desperately missing her boys or recooping from a summer with her boys.

{smile}

{it arrived}

despite me not wanting it to.

The first day of school. 

Although I am really sad in so many ways, in other ways I'm

excited for the boys and happy to be back in more of a routine.

My laid back summer plans went awry in so many ways.

So, this feels in an odd way like a fresh start.

And..............could I be late on this first day back to school?

Well, yes, I could.

But, I wasn't.

Whew!  Although it came fairly close once I discovered that

the boys had drank all of their lunch box drinks over the weekend and

no one thought to inform me.   Not a great way to start the day; a mad dash

to the little corner gas station. 

There are several things I want to note in the following pictures.

#1 - notice, no dressy shirts/clothes.   I have let them be 

more independent this year in picking out their school clothes. 

No collared polo.  That may only happen on Sundays now. 

And, of course, the athletic clothes are hitting Evan much quicker

than they did Noah as Evan is quickly following suit. 

#2 - notice, no smiles.  I guess that is because they are boys?

I'm really not sure on that one.  

#3 - notice, Evan's stance.  Standing on the outside of his feet.  

He has always done that?????  Again, not sure????  

#4 - notice {and this one is for me} how BIG they both are??  I didn't make note of it while I was taking the pictures.  It may have been because I was blinded by the shocking colors of their shoes.  They picked those as well.  But, when I opened the file I loaded.......it hit me hard.  They are getting so big.     

#5 - notice, smiles.  Because I asked. ;)

#6 - notice, the toothpaste on the face.  We worked on that all the way to Greenwood. 

#6 - notice, I am pretty sure this little man was a bald headed baby with the biggest blue eyes I had ever seen like three weeks ago.  Okay, maybe four.

#7 - notice, the toothpaste on the shirt. ;)

Welcome First and Fifth Grade!

I look forward to all that you will learn, how you will both

grow and making this the best year ever!

xoxoxo!

{to: me, from: me}

I am really not wanting to bore the crowd.

{the entire three-reader audience I have}

But, because I am putting so much time into it

and it is going amazingly well, I really want

to journal at least the beginning of this trek.

Snacks were a success today.  They ranged from

apple straws,  organic yogurt, and fruit.  Tonight

I had to make a few tweaks.  It was the most difficult

meal for the boys and they did eat something different.

But, Scott and I had homemade bean and low fat

cheese burritos on whole wheat tortillas with homemade

salsa.  Noah did try, but he couldn't even get it down.

Evan, the one that will pretty much try anything, passed. 

After Noah's incident, I definitely did not push it. 

So, Noah had low sugar oatmeal {not steel cut, but I 

was short on time at that point with organic, natural, 

unsweetened applesauce and a bottle of water.  Evan

had turkey pepperoni with applesauce and a 100%

juice Caprisun.  We are far from being "there".....

whatever there may be.  But, the last several days 

have definitely been an improvement for all of us.

And, I haven't weighed yet, but will tomorrow.

But, very happy to report the jeans are definitely

fitting better.  The jeans I had not worn all summer.

And, not because of this insane heat, but because

I couldn't breathe due to constriction!  

and, for the record....in no way is this a weight loss
attempt for the boys.  at all.  purely striving for better
nutrition.  in my regard...i've been attempting to lose
weight since may and it is coming off at a snail's pace.
so, i am hoping this helps speed that process up.

{convicted, yes}

Whatever word you want to use....burdened, guilty {although I know that

is not the same thing as convicted}, concerned.....or, a mixture of all of the above.

Over.........food.

There you have it. 

Basically because of my nutty schedule that I have, my family

is putting junk into their mouths.  Literally. 

So, I spent HOURS in the grocery store this week reading and 

reading label after label.  I toted bags of groceries home with a feeling

of uneasiness as much of these items the boys have never tasted. 

Our pantry and refrigerator has been filled with processed, nutritionless junk.

I had a "family meeting" last week and told all of them that we would

be transitioning to some big changes.   I explained my reasoning and 

that as the mom of the house I felt a huge responsibility and knew I had totally

made a gradual slip into a territory I didn't want any of us to stay in. 

Surprisingly, they accepted the challenge with smiles.   Then, it began.

And, I have slowly implemented more things in.  I have completed

some major tossing out of the cabinets.   And, I have a progress report to

announce!  It is going SOOOOOOOOO much better than I could have

ever anticipated.   Basically, we are going down the path of

things being "God made" and steering away from things that do

not fall into this category the majority of the time.  Will we still have

treats?  Absolutely!  But, they will be "treats",  not staples in our diet. 

Here are a few things the boys {all three} have tried and LOVED. 

Morning Star veggie corndogs,  almond milk {huge success},

no more processed cereals....Kashi's, tons of fresh fruits, 100%

whole wheat rounds, natural peanut butter, pure fruit spreads instead of jelly,

whole wheat spaghetti, eggs, organic and greek yogurt {jury is still

out on the greek for the boys}, rice chips, whole wheat pita chips just to name

a few, bottled water instead of juice, milk or SODA. 

 And, I have so many things to try and that is the part they

are enjoying the most.   They are actually meal planning which is funny!

But, things to try are......Morning Star chicken strips,  hummus {we will see!},

natural almonds,   air-popped pop corn {have done this in the past, just

not in a while}, homemade french fries and chicken strips,  homemade

salsa {they have never wanted to eat salsa before},  turkey sausage 

roll ups on wheat tortillas, etc, etc, etc.    

I just want to be a good steward with their health and mine of course!

Will keep you posted!!!  So far, so much better than I thought it would be!

{have i lost my mind?}

okay.  i really don't want you to answer that.

but, i've been entertaining the thought that maybe......

just maybe....

molly needs a playmate.

crazy thing is.....yesterday, we finally found a sweet kitten for evan.

he is bouncing off the walls as she won't be ready to be

picked up for a week or two.

but, i also can't get little bella above off my mind.

you know, it's not like i don't have enough to do?

the chickens alone are keeping me very occupied in this heat.

they know me very well at atwoods.

who knew i would have to make a mad dash for electrolytes.

again.

but, in my everyday chaos of just "everything"

sweet little molly, who is snoring at my feet

as i type this, just always seems to calm me down. 

much less expensive than therapy!!  



{quiet day on the homefront}

I got a late reschedule on Thursday for Friday evening.

And, what does this crazy mama do?

Stay up all night working, get up at the crack of dawn and

work some more, and, then, load two sleepy-headed

boys in the car, run errands and surprise them with a 

trip to Magic Springs.  On my own. 

Maybe not the brightest idea in the world. 

And, honestly, it went pretty seamless.  The point

in which I had trouble was that Evan is still too small for

so many of the rides and of course being the younger

brother who thinks there should be no difference in

he and big brother despite the age discrepancy along

with waiting on big brother on those rides....made for

a pretty sulky day at times.   He asked me if he

ate alot of protein over the weekend, could we go back

next week because he would be tall enough! 

I do love his determination. ;)

But, with that exception our day was really good.

The park was not crowded in the least, so we may have

had to wait 2 turns at the most to ride whatever we wanted. 

BUT,  I almost turned the car around in Waldron because

it was then I began getting concerned that something

was going on with Noah other than just being tired from me

waking them up.  Our summer sleeping routine is totally

wrecked right now.  He convinced me he was fine, but, 

he dragged all day.  I just made sure they had PLENTY

of water in the 200+ temperatures and lots of breaks.  They

both slept on the way home and Evan rebounded this morning,

but, Noah didn't.  So.....with a super early bedtime and no 

outside play today, I'm hoping he wakes up feeling better

tomorrow.   Besides a few errands I had to run today, we have

been camped out watching movies and reading today.  

And, that part has been nice.  Although, some plans I had

for tonight had to be scratched. :(  Hopefully tomorrow will 

be a better day because Monday will be a nonstop day for us.

{o' happy, happy, happy day!}

There is a part of summer that I painfully dread.

Our "reaclamation period."

The "getting used to being around each other 24/7" along

with the "I'm bored" syndrome.   I do not tolerate either very

well, but, since Noah's five-year school career, I've come to

expect it.  Usually it takes about 2-3 weeks.  Today was

our breakthrough day!  I didn't have to disrupt one argument

or fuss, get on to either, or give them a list of things to keep busy with.

A beautiful day!

They have played wonderfully together and alone.  Found their

own activities.  No tears in the pool today.  And, as I type this

they are giggling together in the kitchen making things out of clay. 

I know, tomorrow is another day!

But, I'm hoping!

{sweet summertime}

Today has consisted of the boys sleeping in late, snacks & swimming.

And, for me....about to finish up a HUGE work project and mark it off my list. 

Excited does not adequately describe.

One step closer!  

{answered}

The day it hit seems like yesterday.  And, then, it seems like a lifetime ago. 

He was three.  Evan was a few weeks old.  It started with some stomach

pain and vomiting and quickly progressed to uncontrollable pain.   On to the

ER we went.  I thought it was surely appendicitis.  When the phone calls

started occurring just outside our doorway to specialists, my heart sank.  Of

course, I diagnosed him with all sorts of things within that 20 minute time span,

including polycystic kidneys.  He was hospitalized at St. Edwards as they

worked to get him into ACH.  I would sleep with him in his hospital bed and 

get coverage to go over to a hotel and nurse Evan.  Then, he was stable and 

we were sent to ACH.  One of THE worst experiences in my life as a mom

as the diagnostic testing was EXCRUCIATING for him.  Angela and I paced

outside the doors when I would have to leave {per hospital staff} and then would

return to try and get him through it.  Being tied to the bed did not help matters. 

The rest of the family, well, they were pacing too. 

Diagnosis:  hydronephrosis of the kidneys.  Prognosis included everything from 

one end of the spectrum: transplants {yes, it involved both} to surgery to

no additional problems.  It would be a wait and see game.  A game that would

basically last his lifetime.   It was scary and heartbreaking. Typically it only

affects one kidney, but he somehow ended up with both.   The next several years held

MANY trips to the ER, continued testing, followups, and trips and a hospitalization

back at ACH.   Well, I found out Tuesday night after returning from being with Marta

and the girls most of the day, that we had an appt at ACH the next day.  Not

on my radar at all.  So, yesterday morning the four of us headed down. 

Long story short, after scans and meeting with two different physicians.....we are

released!  I kept doubting what I had heard.  The scans showed stability comparable

to last years scan with good kidney growth.  Since we have not had an obstruction in years

along with no infections.......for now, we are released. Yippee!  And, there always

seems to be a "but" with this diagnosis.  We are technically released until either

a) he has another bout with pain, obstruction or infection or b) when he turns or gets

near turning 18.  At either point we will be back in business with ACH.  At 18, he

will be given extensive testing again and be referred on to an adult urologist.

Although both kidneys have improved dramatically - he was almost as bad

as it could get when he was initially diagnosed - he will always have this to

look after and deal with.  But, for now, we are thrilled and thankful for

the news!  And, are just going to accept it for what it is today.  :)  

He does start have to wearing a watch because he is not doing too well on the

every 2 hour routine of emptying the bladder.  So, he will be "beeping" for

however long it takes to get back on track with that.  :)

We did have quite the eventful attempt to leave LR.  We were going to run across

town and see friends for a few minutes, but the skies did NOT look too good 

when we exited the hospital.  Found a local radio station about the time a tornado

warning was being issued for the area of Maumelle and I40.  So, south we went

taking the long way home through Hot Springs.  We did have a nice lunch 

and because we are getting season passes to Magic Springs this year, the

boys planned our summer out.   CANNOT wait to have them home with us!!!   

A happy, happy mom here! 

{my mother's day}

Dear Boys:  

It goes without saying that you were the greatest gifts I've ever received.  You make my heart smile every day....so every day is truly Mother's Day to me.   Although my journey to both of you was not typical, I would take every step of that long trip a million times over without hesitation. But only if it led me back to both of you. 

For whatever reason God shined on me to be your mommy, I am eternally grateful.  I pray everyday that I can help you grow into your fullest potential.  I pray that you see Jesus in me and that you crave that for yourself as each day passes.  I hope you forgive me when I fail as I will never claim to be a perfect mother.  I hope I am giving you sweet, simple memories that will last your lifetime. 

Thank you for simply being you.    

xoxo,

mommy to E

 &

mom to N

{snippet}

On the way to school today I missed the main

course of the conversation, but I did tune in to hear this.....

Noah:  You are just SO weird Evan!!  We just

need to trade you in for a pack of gum. 

Me:  waiting for a reaction {expection: tears}

through the rear view mirror.

Evan:  silence

Evan:  that is just so harsh, Noah. {with quiet the tone} 

All three of us:  smiles and laughs.

{musical beds, anyone?}

Scott went to bed first.   Evan apparently slid in next to him.

I continued to work on taxes.  Bleh! Nothing like last minute.

Scott got up and came to the couch at some point, Noah had slid in

next to Evan in our room. 

In order to avoid any incidental hits to my tender tummy, I opted for Evan's bed.

Scott remained on couch.  zzzzzzzzz-ing away.

Both boys in our bed.

Storm hit, Evan finds me in his bed and joins me.

At some point Scott makes his way back to our room with Noah.

Alarm goes off.

And.I.Wonder.Why.I.Am Tired?