{23 years}

yesterday marked the day i was without my daddy for 23.long.years.

i had intended to post something in an effort to be somewhat cathartic, but just soaked it all in for myself throughout the day.

i do wish i could forget the horror from that morning. it's that type of thing that truly leaves a lifetime of scars. it's hard not to remember the exact moments contained within those first 24-48 hours in 1987.

but, the good memories definitely outweigh those last moments.

for me, it's mostly about he and i missing out on sharing the boys as well britt. what would he have been like as a grandpa? what would he think of me "all grown up?", would his hands still look the same? what would he do with his boys? would he and my aunts still visit for hours? would he still tinker with cars?

that's the really, really hard part.