{the 2nd & 3rd commandment}

This one is a little more uncomfortable for me to even post. I actually wanted to remove the part re: pornography, but chose to keep it in when I remembered one of the main issues in the movie Fireproof. So, this is the 2nd Commandment in the series.

The Second Commandment of Marriage: Don’t Love a Substitute

In the second commandment recorded in Exodus 20:4-6, we are given the second principle for a strong marriage,

“You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”

God commanded that we not worship carved images, whether in heaven, in earth, or in the sea. He wanted to make sure everything was covered. God said, “Do not make images of Me and then worship them. Do not love or worship a substitute for Me. Love Me.”

Some religions have made pictures, statues, and idols and then called them holy. They are all imitations. They are all substitutes. And in marriage we should have no substitutes either.
Love your husband only. Love your wife only. Do not look for fulfillment in some other relationship or in some other thing. Find your fulfillment in that relationship.

Pornography is a substitute. When a man watches pornography, he is loving a substitute. He is directing his passion and his sexuality toward those images. That is a substitute, and he is robbing his wife of that intimacy.

Do not allow any substitute, no matter what it might be, to take the place of intimacy with your spouse.


This next one is SOOOOOOOO true! I don't always succeed on this one, but, I really try. I have many friends (several who read this blog) who do this so well! And, I take notice. It's impossible not to. I would call you out if I had your permission. lol! You deserve it! And, seriously, you have no idea what an impact that makes to me let alone someone who just doesn't get it at all. So, definitely keep it up! It's almost intoxicating to hear a wife speak highly of her husband or a husband of his wife. I love it! And as we all have, I've witnessed (and participated) the opposite of that commandment. And, the end result is not pretty but so pointless and destructive on a multitude of levels. I know that we all know this already, but, it's a nice reminder for even me. So, if no one else gets anything from this post - I did. :) and, hopefully Scott (and my boys) will benefit.

The Third Commandment of Marriage: Speak Well of Your Mate
Exodus 20:7 gives us our third commandment of marriage,
"You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.”

Many misunderstand the term, in vain. It means empty, meaningless, insincere, not showing due respect.

When we speak flippantly or lightly about someone, we erode our respect for that person. Some people are just far too casual in the way they speak of their spouse, and it erodes your respect for him or her. In marriage, few things can affect the relationship like words. Words are containers. They can contain love; they can contain hate; they can contain joy; they can contain bitterness.

The book of James says that our tongue is like a rudder on a ship. It will send the ship of your marriage in whatever direction your words go. Some people are on the brink of divorce because they talk divorce. Just listen to the words they say. Are they negative or positive? Critical or encouraging?

One night I was out with a couple of friends diving for lobster. Some guys were out in one of those big, long speedboats drinking and zooming back and forth at 60 miles an hour. All of a sudden, BANG! The boat hit the rocks.

But it did not hit the rocks by itself. It was steered into the rocks. Just like the driver of that boat, some people are steering their marriage into the rocks of divorce, into the rocks of heartache, by the words they speak.

Think about what you say. Are you building up your partner? Learn to speak well of your mate. Build them up with your words. Be lavish with your praise. You will be pleased with where those words will take your relationship.