{guardrails}

Wow.

I have been listening to a series by Andy Stanley called Guardrails. I highly, highly recommend it.

Since I would be at my computer all night, I decided to listen to my next sermon.

Hmmmm......He never ceases to amaze me.

Next in the series.......Friendships.

Right now, I am BLESSED to be surrounded by an incredible group of ladies. I am very, very thankful. The contrast between some friendships that recently disintegrated is like black and white. There is a huge difference between surface friendships and those that are very solid and to the core that uplift and hold you accountable. THAT is true friendship defined.

I have struggled with two friendships in a tremendous way over the past year. I have sought counsel {many times}, I have prayed, I have apologized, I have forgiven, I have agonized, I have felt relief, I have been immersed, I have been removed, I have been in grief, I have been protected.

The list could go on and on....I have experienced it all.

It is based on Prov 13:20
He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

My a-ha moment.

I have sought so much counsel over what to do next. And, it was here all along.

Some highlights that I want to recall include the following, but if you are struggling with any friendship.....PLEASE go listen to this series. It is incredible.

*the choices a friend makes is contagious and will absolutely impact those in close proximity
*the definition of a fool: a fool knows the difference between right and wrong but doesn't care.
*when you are a companion of a fool you will eventually be impacted by the shrapnel of the explosion of their life.
*when we get warnings from our spouses, other friends, etc (and, I did!) we counter it by explaining that we will never partake in their bad choices. We are trying to help. We need to know the difference between a dangerous companionship versus compassion for that person.
*it should scare us to death to have friendships in which they are consistently making bad choices. Even if we never adopt their lifestyle....if they are not concerned about their life, they are certainly not concerned about ours. They will not be building us up and they are tearing theirs down.
*this was a light bulb moment for me......."the Bible says, do not try to correct a fool." THEY DO NOT CARE. Most of us have experienced this in a friendship. They live their life as though today is not connected to tomorrow, or next year or 3 years from now. There is a difference between trying to help navagate someone through bad decisions, pain, etc. and going down with the ship.
*the faces that come to mind. Take heed.

I do not want this to come across as trite or without care and concern. But, I have personally experienced that shrapnel from lives exploding and imploding. I beat myself up. I couldn't figure out how I could not help them. I mourned the loss of a loosely defined friendship. And in light of events that occurred over the last 24 hours - this message gave me tremendous relief. I didn't know how to "break away" as I felt like I was being mean, deserting them, giving up, etc.

But, I learned that as they crash over the guardrail, I need to keep myself strong to help them if that is even an opportunity at all. Christ had compassion, but, guidelines and guardrails were given to us for a reason.

Seriously, google that series...it is wonderful!!! I can't say it enough.