and totally faking it.
Friday night as Evan and I talked about his upcoming vaccinations to start K, he started crying. He could care less about the injections, but this new frontier called kindergarten is breaking his heart. He curled into a tight ball in my lap (for those of you who have not seen him in a while or who have not seen him standing next to other kids his age - he is TINY and can still totally curl). He sobbed and sobbed and begged me not to send him. He told me that he could not leave me. I had a knot in my throat the size of a grapefruit. But, I plastered a fake smile and voiced fake excitement and explained how incredible this new adventure was going to be. All the while covering him with kisses, fighting my tears and grasping to believe it as well.
This has got to get better. I did not experience this with Noah. He was more than excited to go. I know Evan will be fine once we get past the first hurdle. He has no clue how my heart is breaking - I've been faking it for a while now. I know he can do it. Just not so sure about me.
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