{no words}

there aren't any.

earlier in the day, I took pictures of the house to remember our 2009 Christmas. That post seems like nonsense now.

my heart remembered minute by minute exactly what i was doing this day three years ago....saying a very, very tearful goodbye to my sweet grandpa. but, somehow i found smiles today as i stared into those sea-blue eyes in the pictures that stay at my desk. he is happy and at rest. i miss him terribly though.

but, then i received the devastating news that a precious young wife and mother, a girl i grew up with and have come to really know over the past 2-3 years passed away today. we had been praying so hard for her due to a recent, surprising bout with blood clots. she was coming home today, just in time for christmas. but the fact she "went home" just in time for christmas makes my heart shatter. i am so thankful of so many of our conversations. she had her priorities right. her heart was oh, so right. she was precious. she is okay.

but.........at this moment, i do not understand....well, actually i never will. her babies? her husband? her sweet sister? her mom and dad?

i just want to hold my babies. and somehow, i hope she knew what a sweet friend she was to me.

jill..............