{poll please}

i need your help!

i need to know what you would do on your 40th birthday??

because, i just can't decide what i want to do on mine!

since, most of my friends are well under that mark -

what do you have in mind for yourself,

as you have years to think about it? :)

i know i want lots and lots of cake.

cute cakes. 

so, that means lots and lots of parties.  ;)

in case you are wondering, i am not dreading it in the least. 

i'm very excited actually.  basically, i'm just happy to be here i think!

no, on a serious note, my grandmother died at the age of 40. 

she left 5 babies behind.  my mind has never been able to 

wrap around that fact. even as a little girl..........that

piece of our puzzle never fit right. 

 in our family, she has always been 40. 

so, for whatever reason, that left a lasting mark on me.  

even though i never got to meet her, my entire

life, i have been told that both our personality and 

appearance were so similar.  my grandfather

often would cry when he would look at me or 

i would do something that she would have done.   

she didn't get to celebrate.  i want to. 

i'm just at a loss of what i want to do.

one of those things i absolutely should not be fretting over.

and, i'm not fretting.  i'm just at a loss! 

i know i want to be surrounded by family & friends.

nothing over the top.  although, to be perfectly honest, i have

entertained that thought. :)  but, squashed it down where it belonged. 

of course, i'll have my family party the evening of.  

probably at a resturant.   and, i would love me some sweet

girlfriend time.  because my girlfriends are some of

my greatest treasures.  and, i'm thinking dressed up? 

but, i'm thinking a couple party too? 

can you have too many parties? 

i told scott he could give me my parties and i would

just plan them.  so far, i'm failing.

maybe, i should just sit home in my pj's and eat cake?

if i don't decide soon, that's exactly what i will be doing!!!

thoughts please??