{intentionally disconnecting}

i have been pondering. which is not always a good thing. but, i have been trying to 'absorb' much of what i took in this week-end. what good would it be if i sat there and took it all in, but, let it stay in? i would completely be missing the point.

so, this afternoon as the boys played outside, i thought and prayed. and, although i've been down this road before...i didn't stick to my good intentions very well. so, i am making a concerted effort to disconnect in order to become intensely connected. so, despite the fact that i spent some time today setting up my latest gadget, it was within hours that i knew i would be severely limiting this relationship. several months ago, i purchased a 'smart phone' in an attempt to be even more connected than i already insanely was. well, i detested that phone. obviously, it was a lot smarter than me. i could never quite figure it out. and, it was waaayyy too sensitive. it called every person under the sun if i even bumped it. angela has overheard way too many conversations occurring in wal-mart. so, i broke down and ordered this one. well, this one, but in red. :) again, in an attempt to stay more connected with my office, my emails, etc. and, it's definitely not just the phone, but, this thing i am typing away on at this moment. computer time, ugh! of course, this is where i work, but, i play way too much on here too. i love way too many blogs. and then, there was my accidental membership to facebook. well, that's an entirely different story. my love of photography/classes/forums - the whole nine yards. it is where i do my devotionals. where i shop. where i read the news, etc, etc, etc. etc point made.

regardless, i did visit this plan as stated, months ago. i had great intentions. but, i fell back into this technical world ashamedly quickly. and, in all honestly, this world of gadgets and cyperspace is not a real world. so, after much prayer and thought this afternoon, i am redefining my connections yet again as well as my priorities and that never-ending to do list. i need to be "here" every moment that i can. not absorbed in the long list of other things i get lost in. and, 99.9% of those "things" that take me away are actually very good things. so, it has been way too easy for me to let the time add up without even being fully aware of it.

i know it will take major adjustment on my part, but the rewards for myself and my family will be great. i am SEVERLY limiting my phone time. when my family is home, i will be home with them. now, having said that - if it a call i need to take or need to return, i absolutely will. so, don't hesitate to call. and, honestly, when i do get calls, it is me that lingers on the phone forever. so, i've just got to learn to keep my conversations shorter. i am sure my friends will benefit from that also. ha! when my boys are in the vehicle - which is typically my chance to return calls, i just can't - unless of course, it is truly needed. and, i do have friends, who once i am on the phone with them.....i could talk for days. they know who they are. i am so sorry!

i just need to be MUCH more focused on the things that matter. so, beginning tomorrow, my alarm will be going off a little earlier and before i do the typical things to start my day, i will be starting my day with Him. which is another thing i have really let slide of late and although i do seem to fit it in, i just really want it to be the first thing i do.

am i the only one who has so much trouble with this?