She would have loved today.
She looked beautiful and her friends and family were with her.
Her flowers were so pretty.
The service could not have been more "Mildred".
The sadness was definitely intertwined with happiness.
I've read Proverbs 31 so often and always felt overwhelmed by it; something I could never attain.
Well, maybe not me, but she did.
And, it gives me hope.
So, here's to Grandma Mildred! You will always be a HUGE part of our lives. We love you dearly and will carry your legacy with us until we see you again!
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
{sometimes parenting stinks}
I say that with the utmost love.
Really.
I have to consciously keep myself from "helicoptering" the boys. It's pretty much a constant struggle. Especially when I don't just think, but know, their little hurts will feel overwhelming pain. I try to step in and buffer that for them.
Last year when we lost Uncle Gibb, our hearts were broken. Noah "got" it {death} really for the first time. Evan was sad, but clearly did not understand what it truly meant for our family with our time left here on Earth without him. And, because of that we opted not to take Evan, and it was a good decision. It was the first time Noah attended a funeral, and he handled it as well as any of us did.
Noah understands Grandma Mildred's passing and has had a healthy amount of tears and sadness. Evan is beyond devastated. I totally expected a call from school today. He has asked us through spilling tears not to even talk to him about her or mention her name, "it hurts my heart too much."
That brings me to tonight. Family visitation and the viewing. He will adamantly say he is going to school tomorrow and will not be going to the funeral. And, then he will change his mind for a few seconds that he wants to go, and then quickly retract that. This morning, through tears he asked me "what if I change my mind after the funeral?" Although much older when my dad died, it gave me immediate flashbacks. I completely refused to go see my dad at the funeral home. Although encouraged and questioned over and over by family to make certain I would have no regrets, I stood my ground and refused to go. It got as late as you could get on changing my mind and it wasn't until after the funeral home had closed the evening before his service that I decided I HAD to see him and say my goodbye. The funeral home then graciously opened it for me and gave me all the time I needed that night. I am thankful.
I feel like it is clearly his age and tender little heart that I am trying to protect. However, I also do not want to protect so much that it negates the real fact of death from their life. How much shielding is good? or too much?
I don't think I would be wrestling so much if he had not {through sobs nonetheless} questioned me on why he didn't get to say goodbye to her. Well, he did, he just didn't know it. Because of me. Two weeks ago, I took the boys, knowing it would be the last time I would be comfortable in them seeing her. I feel that in some way I cheated them by at least not explaining it better.
I have allowed both boys to talk openly and to the best of my ability have tried to answer their endless questions. I think by trying to protect them as much as I have, I am doing them a huge disservice. Of course, our conversations have not been morbid or scary in nature, but about the true fact of eternity. I suppose I didn't want to see their pain as they said their goodbyes. That was purely for my protection.
So, tonight..I am going to let him take the lead. If he decides to go, even last minute, he will go. If he wants to go to school tomorrow, that's where he will be.
My heart just hurts for them. But, the reality is, life is very painful at times and they need to know how to feel and handle that in a healthy way.
Really.
I have to consciously keep myself from "helicoptering" the boys. It's pretty much a constant struggle. Especially when I don't just think, but know, their little hurts will feel overwhelming pain. I try to step in and buffer that for them.
Last year when we lost Uncle Gibb, our hearts were broken. Noah "got" it {death} really for the first time. Evan was sad, but clearly did not understand what it truly meant for our family with our time left here on Earth without him. And, because of that we opted not to take Evan, and it was a good decision. It was the first time Noah attended a funeral, and he handled it as well as any of us did.
Noah understands Grandma Mildred's passing and has had a healthy amount of tears and sadness. Evan is beyond devastated. I totally expected a call from school today. He has asked us through spilling tears not to even talk to him about her or mention her name, "it hurts my heart too much."
That brings me to tonight. Family visitation and the viewing. He will adamantly say he is going to school tomorrow and will not be going to the funeral. And, then he will change his mind for a few seconds that he wants to go, and then quickly retract that. This morning, through tears he asked me "what if I change my mind after the funeral?" Although much older when my dad died, it gave me immediate flashbacks. I completely refused to go see my dad at the funeral home. Although encouraged and questioned over and over by family to make certain I would have no regrets, I stood my ground and refused to go. It got as late as you could get on changing my mind and it wasn't until after the funeral home had closed the evening before his service that I decided I HAD to see him and say my goodbye. The funeral home then graciously opened it for me and gave me all the time I needed that night. I am thankful.
I feel like it is clearly his age and tender little heart that I am trying to protect. However, I also do not want to protect so much that it negates the real fact of death from their life. How much shielding is good? or too much?
I don't think I would be wrestling so much if he had not {through sobs nonetheless} questioned me on why he didn't get to say goodbye to her. Well, he did, he just didn't know it. Because of me. Two weeks ago, I took the boys, knowing it would be the last time I would be comfortable in them seeing her. I feel that in some way I cheated them by at least not explaining it better.
I have allowed both boys to talk openly and to the best of my ability have tried to answer their endless questions. I think by trying to protect them as much as I have, I am doing them a huge disservice. Of course, our conversations have not been morbid or scary in nature, but about the true fact of eternity. I suppose I didn't want to see their pain as they said their goodbyes. That was purely for my protection.
So, tonight..I am going to let him take the lead. If he decides to go, even last minute, he will go. If he wants to go to school tomorrow, that's where he will be.
My heart just hurts for them. But, the reality is, life is very painful at times and they need to know how to feel and handle that in a healthy way.
{a thank you}
that would make Emily Post cringe as it is coming via way of the world wide web.
But, my new cell phone will not activate. Thus, no "etiquette appropriate" text or call, ha!
Thank you to sweet TH for your kindness in the McDonald's line this morning. After I got over the shock and decided I probably shouldn't run you down to "get on to you" since I was absolutely not dressed to be on the outside of any vehicle, I decided to simply pass it on....hopefully it continued. :) Love you & thank you!
But, my new cell phone will not activate. Thus, no "etiquette appropriate" text or call, ha!
Thank you to sweet TH for your kindness in the McDonald's line this morning. After I got over the shock and decided I probably shouldn't run you down to "get on to you" since I was absolutely not dressed to be on the outside of any vehicle, I decided to simply pass it on....hopefully it continued. :) Love you & thank you!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
{The Yellow Shoes by Lori Walker}
I totally copied and pasted this because it makes me laugh and cry at the same time and I wanted to share. Plus, I don't want to forget. The link to her blog is http://lorijwalker.wordpress.com/
So, Lo, if you stroll over here, I'm asking for retroactive permission to post.
Without further ado, this was written by my cousin {well, technically, Scott's but she likes me more than him, so I've claimed the rights:}
LOVE it!
.....................................................................................
I suppose my quest for being fabulous was inevitable. Both of my grandmothers–while salt-of-the-earth, roll-up-your-sleeves-and-roll-out-the-dough kind of ladies–have always been fashionable in their own way. So it’s in my DNA as well as my DKNY.
My maternal grandmother, Granny Eck, believes in wearing sequins to Walmart, “nice black slacks” to sporting events, and has to start wearing Christmas sweaters prior to Thanksgiving to get through her wardrobe before December 25. She’s 86, still kickin’ and shopping, and always concerned with her attire.
Yesterday we lost my paternal grandmother, Grandma Mildred. Some of my earliest memories of her were of clomping down her hallway wearing one of the hundreds of pairs of high heels she owned. Every closet in her house was filled with shoes. She would sneak them in so my Grandpa wouldn’t realize she bought seven more pair. At once. She truly was the Imelda Marcos of Midland.
When my Grandpa Benny died 17 years ago, we were nearly late for the service because Grandma insisted on finding the yellow heels that matched her yellow purse that matched Grandpa’s favorite black and yellow dress. Because she knew, as do I, that a great outfit can brighten up a bad day, make you feel better when you’re sad, and just be… well, fabulous.
And she truly was fabulous. Here’s to the lady in the yellow shoes. She won’t be forgotten.
So, Lo, if you stroll over here, I'm asking for retroactive permission to post.
Without further ado, this was written by my cousin {well, technically, Scott's but she likes me more than him, so I've claimed the rights:}
LOVE it!
.....................................................................................
I suppose my quest for being fabulous was inevitable. Both of my grandmothers–while salt-of-the-earth, roll-up-your-sleeves-and-roll-out-the-dough kind of ladies–have always been fashionable in their own way. So it’s in my DNA as well as my DKNY.
My maternal grandmother, Granny Eck, believes in wearing sequins to Walmart, “nice black slacks” to sporting events, and has to start wearing Christmas sweaters prior to Thanksgiving to get through her wardrobe before December 25. She’s 86, still kickin’ and shopping, and always concerned with her attire.
Yesterday we lost my paternal grandmother, Grandma Mildred. Some of my earliest memories of her were of clomping down her hallway wearing one of the hundreds of pairs of high heels she owned. Every closet in her house was filled with shoes. She would sneak them in so my Grandpa wouldn’t realize she bought seven more pair. At once. She truly was the Imelda Marcos of Midland.
When my Grandpa Benny died 17 years ago, we were nearly late for the service because Grandma insisted on finding the yellow heels that matched her yellow purse that matched Grandpa’s favorite black and yellow dress. Because she knew, as do I, that a great outfit can brighten up a bad day, make you feel better when you’re sad, and just be… well, fabulous.
And she truly was fabulous. Here’s to the lady in the yellow shoes. She won’t be forgotten.
Monday, November 1, 2010
{sigh}
and alot of tears today.
"Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on." "Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.""
Revelation 14:13 New International Version
We said goodbye to two incredible ladies today. My eyes are burning. My heart is heavy. But, I am happy that their sweet lives graced mine. I feel very blessed.
Sweet, sweet Mildred passed on this morning. Yes, we knew it was coming....but, you know...you are never really ready to let them go. My heart breaks for my father-in-law. The exhaustion from the past few weeks has taken its toll on everyone. Tonight everyone has snuck away to their homes to try and steal away as much rest as their hearts will allow. Above all of the love and devotion she gave to our family, I will be eternally grateful for the fact that it was she and her husband who took Scott and his sister to church; where they began their relationships with Christ. I cannot put into words how much that means to me. She and Bennie literally laid the foundation for my family and generations to come. Thank you sweet, Mildred! I love you so much!
This afternoon, feeling totally torn between two families, I attended a funeral of one of my cousins. A truly beautiful woman inside and out. Her testimony sets the bar exceedingly high for all of us. Our family will never be the same without her, but without a doubt her legacy will definitely live on. And, in her situation, it feels like life was cut way too short. But, in reality, it was just as He knew it would be. Although we would have written different chapters for this part of her life, her story continues. Just not here with us. And, wouldn't you love to be known for your smile??? She was and always will be.
I could go on and on about both...but, it's almost been too much to take in for one day. Tomorrow...details will be made, more tears will be shed, explainations will be given again to two crying boys....but, in the midst of all of the grieving, I am very thankful to even have known them.
"Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on." "Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.""
Revelation 14:13 New International Version
We said goodbye to two incredible ladies today. My eyes are burning. My heart is heavy. But, I am happy that their sweet lives graced mine. I feel very blessed.
Sweet, sweet Mildred passed on this morning. Yes, we knew it was coming....but, you know...you are never really ready to let them go. My heart breaks for my father-in-law. The exhaustion from the past few weeks has taken its toll on everyone. Tonight everyone has snuck away to their homes to try and steal away as much rest as their hearts will allow. Above all of the love and devotion she gave to our family, I will be eternally grateful for the fact that it was she and her husband who took Scott and his sister to church; where they began their relationships with Christ. I cannot put into words how much that means to me. She and Bennie literally laid the foundation for my family and generations to come. Thank you sweet, Mildred! I love you so much!
This afternoon, feeling totally torn between two families, I attended a funeral of one of my cousins. A truly beautiful woman inside and out. Her testimony sets the bar exceedingly high for all of us. Our family will never be the same without her, but without a doubt her legacy will definitely live on. And, in her situation, it feels like life was cut way too short. But, in reality, it was just as He knew it would be. Although we would have written different chapters for this part of her life, her story continues. Just not here with us. And, wouldn't you love to be known for your smile??? She was and always will be.
I could go on and on about both...but, it's almost been too much to take in for one day. Tomorrow...details will be made, more tears will be shed, explainations will be given again to two crying boys....but, in the midst of all of the grieving, I am very thankful to even have known them.
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