{pausing}

I really wanted to write this when my mind was less

frazzled, I didn't have luggage to be packed, a house to clean,

and a list of MUSTS before we leave that door tomorrow, but,

I couldn't let the day pass without pausing for a minute to

celebrate today.   It is a big day for you, Honey!

Not only our we celebrating our 19th Anniversary, but

you are now 40!  I can't believe it!  Where has the time gone?

I have been very reminiscent over the last few days - if it took

just a blink to get us here, it places perspective on the blink we

have left together.  It simply goes so fast. 

I have to giggle because of how we have spent our day.

I have barely seen you on this anniversary of ours as the

original plan was to be celebrating it on the beach.  That

got scratched.  So, instead we both worked like crazy today

trying to get things in place to finally make it to the beach.

And, then, your BIG day.  I laugh again at how understated it has been.

It has been just how you want it.  When I think of what

you did {or, funded my friends to do for me last year} the comparison

is absolutely stunning.   Again, I have barely seen you because

you have taken advantage of a good day that you've had to

get us out the door.  Thank you.  Instead of a house full

of friends - you, me and the boys will be eating pizza,

brownies and sipping on a 2 liter of Mt. Dew tonight.   It

would make me horribly sad if I thought you were disappointed

at all, but you are not, this is how you wanted it. 

I think we've learned a lot over the years.  We should have

as we were mere babes when we first met! 

We've had so many ups and downs and I think we are

both at a place where we are very happy and content.  And,

most of all, still in love.  It's easy to get on autopilot and go through

the motions, but, I think we've grown in so many ways that 

we don't want to settle for that at all.  I found a perfect card

{even though you have not seen it yet, ha!} and I couldn't have

said it better myself....

"Remember the thrill of it all when we first started out?

Me, too.

But that was only the beginning. 

When we first fell in love,

we believed we'd always

feel exactly the same way,

every minute, day in and day out.

But, then learned

that love is a choice we make

again and again.

We choose each other

over all the distractions.

We say yes to tomorrow,

even when we're shaking our heads

over the way today might be going.

We decide that love

is what matters most.

For me, that means standing by

the best choice I ever made...

You."      

Scott Walker.

There is absolutely no one on this planet that I

could have imagined my life with but you. 

No one I would have wanted by my side when....

*I didn't always have the confidence that I could make it

through school with so many of the obstacles I had.

*Each job change or career path that was before me 

 - you were always by biggest fan.

*All the years I couldn't go to the cemetary alone, you

were there beside me.

*With each baby that we lost - you were my quiet comfort.

*When we were told we would never have babies - you

held my hand and then wiped my tears when they spilled

in that elevator in Little Rock.

*You did that same very thing in the hotel room in San

Fransicso - you wouldn't let me give up hope.

*You gave me the home of my dreams at

the mere age of 23  - and told me this is where we would
grow old (& we are thankfully!}.

*You held my heart through our adoption process.

*You held my hand through our delivery.

*You wiped my tears when I lost my sweet Grandpa. And,

you totally got why my heart was so sad for so long and

often wanders back to that place.

*You have told me the sweetest words I will ever hear

- that I am a great mother.

That is just a glimpse.  You truly hold my heart and

I am excited with the direction we are going.  We continue

to defy those odds we were told after the accident. 

And, that makes me very, very happy!

I love you and happy, happy birthday!