{remember: breathe}

I think I totally threw myself into the MUCH needed deep cleaning mode today because of the way this next week looks.  The scales are tipping just a tad toward the insane side of being overwhelmed.  It was destined to be a busier than usual week already as I have a little surgery on the horizon {I promise, nothing at all major Aunt J}.  Trying to prepare to  be down a day or two and  then add that the law firm got slammed by way of a huge subpoena that they are calling me INTO the office for.  That VERY rarely happens.  And, of all weeks.  So, beginning Monday up until surgery on Thursday I will be unexpectedly, totally away from home and all of the things I desperately needed to wrap up.  Lovely.  Well, not really so much. 

I have a late, late night of work planned.  Orders, an edit and reading a bazillion pages of medical records.  I have had a full day today as I HAD to tackle that office as I will be 
smack dab in the middle of my spring schedule the moment I am back on my feet.   And, I literally cannot work or at least accomplish much with things around me are completely out of place.  So, that was a must.  I have my list that has to be accomplished tomorrow.  And, then in all of the multi-tasking we moms often do.........I know I need to breath in there somewhere and find the time to fit in some quality time with the boys {all three} because the moment that alarm clock goes off on Monday morning, the race is literally on.  Some of the things on this list in front of me will be checked off, some of the things will not and will just have to wait.  Because in the midst of the chaos I am feeling, I do not want that to spill over.  And, truly, I don't really want to feel it either.   Prioritizing will likely be an ongoing struggle for me to some degree.  It's easy to rattle off the list of course:  God, then family, then work, then.........but, it's much more difficult {at least for me} to actually consistently prioritize well.  Not everything has to be done today.  Or, in my case tomorrow.   And, even though this is an ongoing struggle for me personally......
I am doing MUCH better in so many areas that I've mentioned on here before.  

As I had an issue flare up last week that literally broke my heart, I needed some advice from TH.   Because I wanted to sulk, my feelings were hurt, I knew I needed to talk through it.  She sent me a link to a video that is WONDERFUL.  I had seen it a little while back and it spoke volumes to me even then.  But, it was about being truly aware of the "moments" because they are fleeting at such a fast, fast pace.  And, although I have huge room for improvement, I think I am mastering {for the most part} some aspects.  I think it's the simple things that can honestly speak volumes to those I love, both family & friends, as to what I value {prioritize}.   Thankfully due to a new mentor in my life {RD} I am actually on a pretty good routine with my daily quiet time.  As soon as I type that, I know I can fall off that wagon.  But, it seems to be different now.  It no longer feels like an obligation.  I look forward to it so much.  I have my little chair and typically coffee in hand and some sweet, sweet time ALMOST every morning now.  {I hope to be able to say EVERY morning soon}.   I am trying to stay off the phone once the boys are home and as well as when we are in the car together.   This was something they called me out on so often before.  It always shattered my heart when they did.  There are occasions when I do have to take a call or return one, but I try to explain why and get on with it and finish it up as quickly as I can.  But, typically not much "chatting" goes either on the way to school or once they get home.  Doesn't really seem like much, but it is HUGE to them, so it has become huge to me. 

So, even though I felt some guilt tugging at me today as I tried to get some necessary things completed and in order before this rat-race-of-a-week begins, I tried hard to make certain they were necessary........and due to some major neglect and an office that hibernated with me through winter.......they were.  Tomorrow's list will have to be evaluated even harder as it is such a myriad of tasks.   But, regardless, the time I get to be with my little family tomorrow and over this looming week.....I want to make a point to really and completely  "be there." 

Still trying! :) 

This is what I have written on my scheduling calendar above every month throughout the summer, and I'm pretty certain that I will continue it throughout the year:  "Commit to the Lord whatever you do and He will establish your plans."  Proverbs 16:3.  I cannot tell you how much I LOVE that. And, for me, it's not just about my work schedule, but that "To-do List" that often calls me loudly, facebook, shopping, mindless activities, and trust me.....the list could go on and on!