{my a-ha}

moment.

 

I remember why I made the big career change.

And, any doubts have now been cleared up.

 

So, there is a definite positive in this frantic pace I

am working in trying to get this project wrapped up.

A gentle reminder that I made the right decision.

 

And, as overwhelmed as I feel at the moment with mounds

of medical records staring back at me -

knowing I have another very long night ahead of me....

it feels good to know that I am wrapping up something I agreed to

 {although I had no clue it would have to be NOW, nor did they}

and that it is and ending.    Very soon. 

{duck tape}

over the mouth.

 

I reallllllllllllllly try hard not to complain, but

sometimes I feel as though that is.all.I.do.

 

This past week has been rough around these parts.

Well, actually it goes back to November, but, who

is keeping up?  Apparently me, myself and I.

 

 

THIS WEEK.....

 

 I'm trying not to be sad that Noah had a flop

of a birthday because his mama was literally on

another planet due to lack of an adequate oxygen exchange. 

My kiddos ate way too many bowls of cold cereal and 

peanut butter sandwiches.  Laundry almost made its

all time record.  You know.

The one in which it actually touches the ceiling. 

Yea.  That ugly record.  Boo.   And, I'm certain

 it would have if it hadn't been for the the  flood in

recent months thanks to yours truly.   Birthday party

post phoned and you know how that usually goes. :(

A house that has imploded.  LITERALLY.

Work that is oh, so behind, to the point I am afraid

to look at my messages.  And, just when I was gaining ground.

That one makes me want to cry.  Big, ugly tears.

I'm certain I have late bills.  THANK.GOD. I paid the water

bill on Wednesday before the snow hit hard.  Let's forget

the fact I had already made it home and remembered that

once again I forgotten it; so that

led to trip number 2 to Greenwood all before

9:30 am.  I am not a good reader of the

water meter girl.  Period.  I fail.   

I received a phone call from the law firm that

yesterday afternoon that led to a very late night

and fruitless search on 3 computers for a second half

of a report.  A report that is no where to be found.

But, it still has to be completed. Like TODAY. 

My stomach hurts.  Literally.

 

It just all makes me sad but I know that

it is nothing in the big scheme of things.  Nothing

tragic.  Nothing life altering.   Nothing that

can't be smoothed out and put back on track.

 

I just need to breath deeply and start working

my way through it one little bit at a time -

otherwise it tends to get quite overwhelming. 

 

I'm thinking that after I get caught up that

the little get away I've been toying with back and

forth back and forth - may completely happen. 

 

For the sake of my sanity.

:)

{laid back}

or out, I'm not quite sure.

I have been sick for a few days and 

that likely peaked last night.  Or, at least I pray that was

the peak.  But, instead of trying to work like

I did yesterday,  I am literally taking it easy today.

Minus three blankets I had last night.  

Today, I'm  down to only

 one quilt {from my precious mamma - it has

always been my comfort quilt.  that could be 

a post all of its own - in vitro days, many sick days,

surgeries, babies, etc, etc, etc}

But, today, I've drank lots of fluids, stayed

bundled up in this freak thunderous snow and 

ice storm,  taken my Motrin every single time 

it is due and read a lot.  The reading has been 

the only blessing in disguise with this. 

Just finished the Jeremy Camp book.

I cried all the way through.  So many things

I needed to read and so many things I related to.

His childhood literally mirrored mine.  Now

if my "walk" could mirror his.  

Pretty amazing especially since I was

able to take the boys a couple years ago

and hear his amazing testimony.   

Now to the next one in my stack.

And, a reminder that I need to make

more time for this - to make a more

concerted effort in being "still" instead of

the forced- mode only. 

{strange....I loved it}

that "it" involved a target with a bulls eye.

And, a Saturday afternoon with my brothers.

{and, of course my SIL + B}

I ran out of ammo,  but am restocked.

Shocking isn't it??

But, I am happy to report I bought cute

accessories.  Hot pink ear muffs and safety

glasses.  My brother will be even more 

impressed when I add those to the outfit

I wore.   And, he's not easily impressed. :)

Total sarcasm.  {wink!} 

{check}

my Christmas tree is officially down. 

 

Well, not technically "down" but ornaments are

boxed.  Not yet put away, but lining my foyer

{which I will not admit is driving me berserk}

to be put away.

 

The tree is naked.

 

Still standing in my living room.

 

But, de-robed.

 

And, it's a mere February 3rd.

 

P.I.T.I.F.U.L.  

 

Bring on Valentine's Day!

{it's official}

I've officially moved out to the studio.

 

Yippee!!!

 

Computer and all. 

 

Since completion happened during the fall frenzy, I decided to wait.

And, because it slowed down but the boys were home and I

still had a lot of time on the computer, I decided to wait until

after they went back to school.

Then, I tried to play catch up.

Then, I got sick twice.

 

Today was the day. 

And, it was amazing!

No distractions of dirty laundry, puppies, a sink

full of dishes, carpets that need vacuuming,

etc, etc, etc.

 

Scott was right on this one!

It will separate the business from precious family time.

And, why?

 

Because, I'm too chicken to stay out there by

myself after dark. 

 

And, it's also official that my Christmas tree is

coming down tomorrow.

 

Really. 

{yuck}

it's a new personality trait that is popping up more and more 

and I want to just squash it like a bug.

Flat.

I have become a hurry-upper.

Especially to my sweet boys. :(  

It's one thing for me to hurry up my day and 

not stop and smell the roses, but it's totally

wrong of me to do that to them.

I've been catching myself doing it and it

frustrates me to know end.  The scary thing

is, I'm not exactly sure of when it started.

Well, now, it has taken root.

There is an actual diagnosis of "hurried woman syndrome"
floating around out there.  But, instead of self-diagnosing
that, this is a bit different.

When I truly had my a-ha moment it was in the
popsicle aisle at Wal-mart.  Now, given, no
one wants to be in that store a moment longer
than we have to....but, is it really worth rushing
the little guys to make their popsicle choice in 3.2
seconds flat when there are so many options?
It's a popsicle - and, that's a fun thing.
I don't want to take the fun away.

I have been cognizant of this for a while, and
have intentionally been trying to reverse
this spiral.  I did read Dixie Delight's
blog yesterday and I love the idea of a Yes Day.
But, even that is a little different.  I hate
feeling rushed all the time and I purely
do that to myself.  I hate to think
of the long term damage I could do
in rushing them constantly.  Truly.

So, even though my soul craves simple
and slow - I have strayed far, far from that
....but, am making a huge effort to slow it all down.

For example, last week we went to eat at
a little restaurant.  On the way out, Evan asked
for a penny to make a wish in the fountain.
My head said no because I was so ready to get
back home and gee.....I would have to
dig {I mean that literally} through my purse to
find a penny and that could possible take a while.

That was the first line of thinking and it reality,
how long would it really take under the worst of
circumstances?  15 seconds, maybe.

Well, he made his wish.
And, so did I.

Here's to slowing their little
lives down.