{i may just like this....}

a little too much.

 

i have a lot to post.

but, am immensely enjoying

not doing anything associated with a list. 

 

i'm actually simply doing a lot of

what i want.

 

playing with the boys.

reading.

web browsing.

plans for 2013.

cleaning.

organizing.

sitting in places other than a computer.

still enjoying my christmas decorations. 

dreaming of an extra-special vacation for the boys.

 

it has been so great.

i'm sure this will have an impact

on the upcoming calendar.

 

speaking of calendars.......

does anyone have the same problem as me.

finding one i love.

then, finding one i love better.

and, maybe another one. 

 

it's crazy.

so far, i'm on my 2nd one for 2013.

 

now, i'm off to shoot a beautiful little

model that is kind enough to help me test

out my lighting and a new backdrop. 

 

{no words}

but, many prayers for those in Newtown. 

My heart literally aches.

 

It was more difficult than I anticipated

on the drive to school this morning.  I had to turn off

the radio and wipe my hidden tears without them seeing me.

 

I 'forced' Noah to kiss me in front of his teachers.

He obliged me much easier than he would have on

any other day.  He also mouthed "I love you" as I drove away.

He knows what has happened.  Evan doesn't get it all thankfully.

 

I saw many mothers on the road to and from the schools wiping

tears.   Evan kissed me as he usually does and told me his usual,

"shine.  and, i'll be praying for you."  I told him the same as I always do.

 

I watched him walk {almost skipping} past the plain clothed police

officer standing at the front entrance without a care in the world. 

 I drove away and the tears flooded.  I wish there could be a bubble,

but I know there cannot. 

 

 I will have to fight this fear as it has always been a fear

to me and now it is heightened to the extreme.   They will

never know how fearful I am at times because I never want them to feel it.

 

I'm ready for it to be 2:50 p.m. 

 

 

He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.

Psalm 147:4

 

 

 

 

{beach dazeD}

oh, what I would give to have my toes in warm sand right about now.

 

NOT because we finally  have winter weather - I'm actually welcoming

that.  But, the midnight oil is burning low right about now.

 

sand, it cures just about everything.  

{anybody out there??}

I've noticed my friends have fallen off

the blog wagon as well.  Busy, busy time

of year for everyone.

 

And, for here...... 

 

it's going to get worse, before

it gets better.  I'm looking

forward to that later part.

 

Can't happen soon enough!